Brant World

Brant's January 2012 Playlist

2012-01-05T17:43:00.000-08:00

Yikes! We're almost a week into January and I'm just now getting to this! I guess the holidays got me all distracted. Anyway - here 'tis.

1. Jealousy (Will Young) - The latest from Britain's Pop Idol.

2. Like We Did/Windows Down/ (the Maine) - Nostalgic pop rock that is perfect for riding in the car with your....wait for it...windows down!

3. Domino (Jessie J) - Kety Perry-esque girl pop

4. Are You My Baby (Wendy & Lisa) - Stumbled across this on iTunes. I used to have this on cassette! From Wendy & Lisa's second album after leaving Prince & the Revolution. Funky 80s R&B that holds up pretty well today.

5. Bizarre Love Triangle (Nouvelle Vague) - Gorgeous cover of New Order's classic. This was on a limited edition CD I found on one of my Used CD Store expeditions. Pretty sure I found it at Amoeba in San Francisco...

6. Sister (the Black Keys) - Off their new CD, El Camino. Am I the only one who's bothered by the fact that the car shown on the cover is NOT an El Camino???

7. Tight Rope (Damon Fowler) - I love the Spotify scroll on Facebook. I pilfered this off something I saw Crystal D listening to! Thanks Crystal! Remake of the classic 1972 Leon Russell tune.

8. Fascinated (Ivy) - I loved her spooky cover of Vince Guaraldi's "Christmas Time Is Here" so was checking out her original tunes. Groovy electronica.

9. You & I /Mark Taylor remix/ (Lady Gaga) - Mark Taylor replaces the original clunky dubstep percussion with a sleek 1990's Shania Twain-like groove. "Man! I feel like a Gaga!"

10. No Tears to Cry (Paul Weller) - Every now & then I search a musician just to see if they've been up to anything lately. Came across this 2010 Weller track that sounds like a lost Gary Puckett single.

11. Brand New Key (the Dollyrots) - How is this not on Spotify??? Spunky grrrrrl group that Jill turned me on to covers Melanie's 1970s hit.

12. Angel with a Shotgun (the Cab) - They had me at the song title, but it's actually a pretty good tune!

13. Don't F#ck with My Money (Penguin Prison) - The best bubblegum electronic song with a gangsta title that I've heard in recent memory...

14. Wake Up Baby (Jill Scott) - Smooth soul from a smooth soulstress

15. Always (Bent) - The excellent Mahavishnu Remix is on any self-respecting queen's iPod, but it occurred to me that I'd never heard the original. Nice - a little bouncier than the remix, but I like.

16. Baggage Claim (Miranda Lambert) - Contemporary honky tonk from the other young blonde country singer (who could kick Taylor Swift's butt and not even spill her Budweiser).

17. Boys Will Be Boys (Maureen Steele) - This was on the Flamingo Kid soundtrack, but basically could have been on ANY movie soundtrack from the 80s. Brings back fond memories of the movie theatre I worked in back in high school...

18. I Took a Little Something (Florrie) - Euro dance pop that I'm sure I heard on the satellite radio.

19. Top of the Pops 2011 (Mashup Germany) - Adrenaline-packed mashup of all the top Pop songs of 2011. Free download on soundcloud

Hope everyone's 2012 is off to a great start! See you next month!!!

Best Pics of 2011

2011-12-29T09:05:00.000-08:00

I can't believe 2011 is almost over! Since I'm not one to break promises - maybe now is a good time to make my 2011 Resolutions.

In the meantime - here's the year in review, set to "Top of the Pops 2011" by Mashup-Germany!

Brant's December 2011 Playlist

2011-11-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

Jiminy Crickets! Is it time for another holiday playlist again already? The dancing Santa Claus on my hearth makes me think that it IS! Well, in that case - here is this month's playlist. I tried to find a balance of personal favorites and unusual suspects. Hopefully the result is a playlist that feels both fresh and familiar. Ho Ho Hope you enjoy!

1. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Andy Williams) - This optimistic anthem seemed like a great way to start this year's mix. When Andy sings it, I almost believe it.

2. Do They Know It's Christmas? (Band Aid) - The original version that inspired countless other celebrity choruses to sing for charity. As usual, this first attempt is much better than the efforts that would follow.

3. Ole Santa (Dinah Washington) - Peaceful Christmas ditty. You can almost visualize the children drifting off to sleep with smiles on their faces as they wait for Santa.

4. The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot (Vera Lynn) - Something tells me Vera was NOT the life of the party. Definitely a Debbie Downer tune, but I love the 1940's feel.

5. Snowflakes (Jeremy Fisher) - Sweet, nostalgic holiday stylings from Jeremy Fisher.

6. Christmas Island (Ella Fitzgerald) - I think the Andrews Sisters version is my fave, but since that was on last year's list I've substituted Ella's swinging cover.

7. Fairytale of New York (the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl) - Hot-headed Irish couple visits New York, discovers the meaning of Christmas, gets arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication.

8. I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm (Dean Martin) - Dino's version of the holiday classic.

9. The Christmas Waltz (Kristin Chenoweth) - Broadway & Glee star graces us with a Christmas greeting.

10. One Happy Christmas (Tammy Wynette) - I think the best Christmas songs are the ones that fit the vocalist and their personal style. It seems a lot of singers will pick popular songs and try to sing them and it just doesn't sound right. This tune, from Tammy's 1970 album Christmas with Tammy, sounds like a song she would have sung anyway. It just happens to be a Christmas song.

11. Angel /Holiday version/ (Jack Johnson) - Holiday version of his 2007 acoustic ballad

12. White Christmas (Bing Crosby) - A classic.

13. Chilly Winds Don't Blow (Nina Simone) - Nina's not trying to have a White Christmas. Snow is cold, bitches.

14. Flowers in December (Mazzy Star) - Quiet, wistful winter ballad

15. Boogie Woogie Santa Claus (Mabel Scott) - Mabel's barn-storming boogie will melt the snow off anyone's chimney.

16. Merry, Merry Christmas (Koko Taylor) - We lost Ms. Koko in 2009, but her bluesy vocals keep the spirit alive.

17. Operator (Manhattan Transfer) - I checked out their Christmas albums, but somehow kept coming back to this gospel song off their 1975 debut album. Probably not intended as a holiday song, but I love it anyway.

18. O Holy Night (Mahalia Jackson) - Okay, this is a gospel holiday song. Amen.

19. I'll Be Home for Christmas (She & Him) - New Girl Zooey Deschanel teams up with M. Ward for an uber-cool Christmas album. Once again - the laid back instrumentation seems perfectly suited for her voice (see comments from #10). No bells and whistles, just awesomeness.

20. Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me (Elvis Presley) - A bodacious Elvis holiday song that ISN'T "Blue Christmas".

21. What Are You Doing New Year's Eve (the Carpenters) - Karen Carpenter could pretty much sing anything and it would sound good. Well, maybe not Heavy Metal...but anything else.

22. Sleigh Ride (the Ronettes) - Ronnie & the gang frolic in the snow. Not sure if Cher is singing back up on this song, but she sang back up on several Ronettes tunes.

23. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Diana Krall) - Smooth and mellow rendition that reminds me of sipping hot chocolate and watching the snow fall.

Hope everyone has a great Christmas and holiday season! See you in 2012!

Brant's November 2011 Playlist

2011-11-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm a few days late with this one. Between Halloween and work, it just wasn't gonna happen. But I'm happy to finally be getting around to posting November's playlist. Probably more than some of my others, this one kind of reflects the way songs wander into my life. It's very stream of consciousness...Virginia Woolf would be proud.

1. Lover to Lover (Florence & the Machine) - Flo returns with some gospel, and the rejoicing begins.

2. The Walk (Mayer Hawthorne) - Now that Amy Winehouse has cleared the way, many are exploring the '60's soul sound. This one does it quite well, but don't play in front of the chil'rens. There are more curse words in 3 and a half minutes than you'd find in a week's worth of Temptations songs.

3. Roosevelt Island (Eleanor Friedberger) - Fiery Furnaces lead singer, who shares the same birthday as yours truly, busts out some 70's funk vibes.

4. I Think I Love You (Voice of the Beehive) - Here is where the stream of consciousness begins. Jill shared a playlist with me called 'Expo Girls'. The original had a VOTB song on it, but the song wasn't on Spotify so she substituted this great Partridge Family cover.

5. Betty's a Bombshell (Grouplove) - Great wave-your-lighter-in-the-air chorus. And you have to love a song that has glitter and suffering in the same refrain.

6. I'll Be Your Mirror (Rainy Day) - Stream of consciousness note #2. Expo Girls had a rare song on it, which was a great Bob Dylan cover by Susannah Hoffs (from the Bangles) and Mazzy Star. The cd was called Rainy Day. I tracked it down and was thrilled to find Susannah singing lead on this Velvet Underground cover.

7. Take It or Leave It (Sublime with Rome) - Unexpected return from the 90's group, with a new lead singer.

8. She Bangs the Drums (Stone Roses) - This popped up on my iPod while I had it on shuffle the other day so I decided to add it to this month's playlist.

9. Gidget Goes to Hell (Wrong Beach) - This was another of Jill's substitutions on Expo Girls, since Spotify didn't have Suburban Lawns' excellent original version. This cover is great too.

10. Set My Baby Free (Ian Brown) - Stream of consciousness #3. After hearing the Stone Roses, I started to wonder if any of the band members had done anything after the band broke up. I found this spooky song by former band lead singer, Ian Brown.

11. Lay Myself Down (Mazzy Star) - Stream of consciousness #4. After finding the Rainy Day cd, I checked to see if Mazzy Star had done anything recently, and found this song!

12. Second Hand News (Matthew Sweet & Susannah Hoffs) - Stream of consciousness #5. When checking to see if Susannah Hoffs had done anything recently, in addition to a new Bangles cd I found this duet with Matthew Sweet - a Fleetwood Mac cover.

13. This City /Breathe Electric Remix/ (Patrick Stump feat. Lupe Fiasco) - Breathe Electric breathes shimmery new disco life into the Patrick Stump tune. Free on PumptheBeat.com.
http://pumpthebeat.com/?cat=286

14. Break of Dawn (Goapele) - San Francisco siren returns with some smooth inspirational jazz

15. You Know That I'm No Good (Wanda Jackson) - Jack White works his magic on another country legend - this time by having rockabilly bad girl Wanda Jackson warble a Winehouse classic.

16. Fixin' to Die (G. Love) - G Love gets his blues on! Free (for now) on Daytrotter - they are soon going to have to start membership fees to cover expenses.
http://www.daytrotter.com/#!/concert/g-love/20054814-12982

17. Gimme Sympathy (Metric) - Fun female led alt-rock.

18. If (Janet Jackson) - This month's throwback. Janet grooves along to a Supremes sample as she imagines the love that might have been (and still could be!).

Brant's October 2011 Playlist

2011-09-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo! It's October, and the sweltering heat of summer is behind us. Mild days without the pollen of springtime are followed by nights filled with Halloween parties and the new TV season. Hopefully you can put down your pumpkin-carving knives long enough to check out this month's playlist. Enjoy!

1. The King and All of His Men (Wolf Gang) - Upbeat latest from this British band that has toured with Florence & the Machine.

2. She Ain't Human (Billy Van featuring Quincy Kwalae and Zach Majors) - Mashup of Michael Jackson ("Human Nature") and Chris Brown ("She Ain't You") with tasty vocals by Zach Majors. Free download at Pump the Beat.

3. Spooky (Imogen Heap) - I had to have a Halloween themed song and Imogen Heap's groovilicious cover of the 1960's classic seemed perfect.

4. Flee or Fight (Matrimony) - Suzi & I caught these guys at the last Tosco Music Party and they put on an awesome show. Lead vocals by husband and wife James and Ashlee Hardee Brown.

5. Changing (Airborne Toxic Event) - Perky alt-rock to get your Halloween party started. Also check out "Sometime Around Midnight".

6. She's Gone (the Bird and the Bee) - Covering one Hall & Oates song would be daring, but to dedicate an entire album to them? That's crazy! Or is it GENIUS? Gotta say, I'm leaning towards genius.

7. Stars /LAZRtag remix/ (the XX) - Sean had this yummy mix on his latest playlist. Icy vocals meet a new wave beat and make beautiful music together.

8. Soldier (Ingrid Michaelson) - Mellow female rock reminds me of someone who probably played at Lilith Fair back in the day.

9. Tainted Love (Imelda May) - When I first heard this I thought it was Nouvelle Vague! Not sure who's playlist it was on. This is what happens when I go two months without posting new music! Great rockabilly version of the Soft Cell anthem.

10. Wish You Were Here (Glen Campbell) - Diagnosed with Alzheimer's, the country music legend recorded one last album, which was released in August 2011. He sounds as great as ever on this gorgeous ballad!

11. Atlas Hands (Benjamin Francis Leftwich) - Easy, breezy tune to play as the Autumn leaves begin to fall.

12. Not Your Fault (Awolnation) - Euro beats with arena rock vocals in the chorus

13. Touch My Bridge and Go (Fergie vs. Touch & Go) - Mashup that answers the question, "What if Fergie had recorded London Bridge with a Latin lounge band?" Free download at SoundCloud.

14. Teeth (the Ettes) - Jill sent me this on Spotify, and I love it! And not just because I'm a dentist. Female lead singer with a cute voice has totally got this guy's number!

15. If I Had a Gun (Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds) - Brother from Oasis rallies a new band, sounds just like his old band. Not that that's a bad thing. Just sayin'...

16. Betcha Wouldn't Hurt Me (Full Flava featuring Donna Gardier) - This Quincy Jones/Patti Austin collaboration was one of my favorite jazz songs from the 80's, so I was psyched to see it get a sleek Millennium-compatible remake.

17. Happy (the Daylights) - Epic love song in the style of the Fray.

18. We Used to Be Friends (Dandy Warhols) - Bluesy re-interpretation of their 2003 party jam. Free download at Daytrotter. http://www.daytrotter.com/dt/the-dandy-warhols-concert/20054551-7293.html

19. The Man with the 4-Way Hips (Tom Tom Club) - This month's throwback! I just caught them live in concert last night. Tina Weymouth looks and sounds as hot as ever! Definitely catch them if they come to your town.

Brant's September 2011 Playlist

2011-08-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo!!! September is birthday month, so (same as I did last year) I'm just gonna throw together a list of favorites. I'm not sure how I got into 1950's-60's girl groups - maybe it was movies like "The Big Chill" and "Stand By Me", which featured a lot of recordings from that time. But for whatever reason, I've always gravitated towards these artists. Whether they're singing about first love, broken hearts, or just missing the party of the century - these women (girls?) gave it everything they had. Listen to Dusty Springfield sing about the uncertainty of new love in "How Can I Be Sure" or Reparata & the Delrons wail in gorgeous loneliness after a breakup in "I'm Nobody's Baby Now". It's no wonder Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse were inspired by this music.

As I've gotten older, I think I appreciate these ladies even more. Today's young women seem a lot more 'worldly' - one might even go so far as to label them Hoochie Mamas - but rarely do you hear them singing with such passion (Adele is admittedly an exception). Perhaps the Autotuner filters it out. But it seems a shame that an artist today can be singing about a menage-a-trois with less emotion than someone reciting their grocery list.

But enough editorializing. Let's kick it old school this month and think back to the days when our biggest problems were curfew and whether or not our crush was going to "like us back" (and not just on Facebook)! Enjoy.

1. My Baby Loves Me (Martha & the Vandellas) - They had bigger hits with "Love is Like a Heatwave" and "Dancing in the Streets", but this simple love song has always been my favorite in their catalogue.

2. Sweet Talkin' Guy (the Chiffons) - A bittersweet warning from someone who's learned the hard way.

3. The One You Can't Have (the Honeys) - Rare single from Mrs. Brian Wilson (of Beach Boys fame), mother to Carnie & Wendy Wilson (of Wilson Phillips). The Honeys often toured with the Beach Boys, and Brian Wilson produced and wrote many of their songs.

4. Needle in a Haystack (the Velvelettes) - Forgotten Motown girl group serve up some cynical soul.

5. Mr. Sandman (the Chordettes) - Bridging the gap between the Andrews Sisters and later Doo Wop acts, these ladies had their first hit with this classic in 1954. "Lollipop" would be an even bigger hit a few years later. Mr. Sandman would go on to be recorded by numerous acts ranging from Emmylou Harris to "The Golden Girls"!

6. She Don't Deserve You (the Honey Bees) - It sucks when someone you love dates someone you hate!

7. It's Gonna Take a Miracle (Royalettes) - Another song that has been covered many times. I think this original is still my fave.

8. Please Mr. Postman (the Marvelettes) - The first #1 Pop song for Motown, these ladies cleared the way for later female acts like Diana Ross & the Supremes.

9. Mixed Up Shook Up Girl (Patty & the Emblems) - This beach music gem was the only hit for the group. Always reminds me of hanging out on the pier at Myrtle Beach.

10. Don't Say Nothin' Bad About My Baby (the Cookies) - Sassy warning for all the haters out there!

11. Will You Love Me Tomorrow (the Shirelles) - Carole King's classic song was also the first song to hit #1 by an all-female group! Carole went on to record it herself for her Grammy winning album "Tapestry" in 1971.

12. Dream Lover (the Paris Sisters) - Dreamy remake of the classic Bobby Darin song

13. A Lover's Concerto (the Toys) - This catchy tune was based on Bach's "Minuet in G major" (hello! they were 'sampling' way back in 1965?!)

14. Party Lights (Claudine Clark) - Predecessor to Ke$ha? The whole song is about missing a party!

15. Born Too Late (the Poni-Tails) - It's no fun being a chicken when your man's not a chicken hawk.

16. I'm Into Something Good (Earl-Jean) - The Cookie's lead singer recorded this first, but it wasn't until Herman's Hermits did it that the song became a hit.

17. You Don't Have to Be a Baby to Cry (the Caravelles) - This fluttery tune is just begging to be in a Quentin Tarantino film!

18. I'm Nobody's Baby Now (Reparata & the Delrons) - Probably not anything you'd hear Beyonce' sing in these modern times of "Independent Women" and "Single Ladies", but we've all been there and felt like this.

19. Tonight You Belong to Me (Patience & Prudence) - Famously sung by Steve Martin & Bernadette Peters in "The Jerk", this is the 1956 version recorded by sisters Patience & Prudence McIntyre.

20. Walking in the Rain (the Ronettes) - Ronnie Spector did this song in 1 take! It wasn't as big a hit as their earlier songs "Baby I Love You" and "Be My Baby", but it was still a moderate success. Interesting piece of trivia - Cher started out as a back up singer for the group's recording sessions!

21. Love Is Here and Now You're Gone (the Supremes) - These ladies were supreme amongst the girl groups of the 60s! In fact, they rivaled the Beatles in popularity. Listen to Diana Ross's silky vocals and you'll know why. This isn't one of their signature songs ("Stop in the Name of Love", "Someday We'll Be Together") but it did hit #1 in 1967.

22. How Can I Be Sure (Dusty Springfield) - Dubbed The White Queen of Soul, Dusty had a career that spanned more than three decades. Fans included everyone from Aretha Franklin to the Pet Shop Boys. This was recorded around the same time as her fabulous "Son of a Preacher Man" single.

23. Give Him a Great Big Kiss (the Shangri-Las) - Upbeat song about lovin' a bad boy, from the "Leader of the Pack" ladies.

24. The Hideaway (the Young Generation) - Love the song, but not sure how I feel about the lyrics. On the one hand, it's sweet that a childhood promise was taken so seriously. On the other hand, get over it!

25. I Adore Him (the Angels) - Another song about lovin' Mr. Wrong! Can't find fault with the vocals, though.

26. Chapel of Love (the Dixie Cups) - The Ronettes had done this originally with little success, but the Dixie Cups recorded it and had the biggest hit of their career! The song would also be covered by the Beach Boys and Bette Midler.

27. You Don't Own Me (Lesley Gore) - The Divine Miss G recorded this iconic song back in 1963. The song was so popular she sang and released versions in Italian, German and French! Both the song & Lesley have become legendary, for good reason.

28. One Fine Day (the Chiffons) - Closing the playlist with a personal fave of all time. The optimism and joy in Carole King's anthem are positively infectious. The song would go on to chart in the Top 10 in 1963 and made Rolling Stone Magazine's list of the '500 Greatest Songs of All Time'. Couldn't agree more!

Brant's August 2011 Playlist

2011-08-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

1. Here Comes the Sun /Live from the 1971 Concert for Bangladesh/ (George Harrison) - 40 years after the legendary Concert for Bangladesh, the Soundtrack is now available for download and all sales benefit the George Harrison Fund for UNICEF. A timeless song that still makes me happy.

2. Somehow (Joss Stone) - Upbeat latest from bluesy UK singer

3. Annie You Save Me (Graffiti6) - Hot on the heels of Fitz & the Tantrums, these guys also are reviving that early 1970s AM rock sound. Groovilicious!

4. I Wanna Go Kill Everybody /Basic Physics Mashup/(Britney Spears vs. Skrillex) - America's Pop Princess gets the electric chair. Sort of. This mash-up pairs Brit Brit's vocals with dark electro funk. Probably the closest we'll get to having Crazy Britney for a while. Free download at PumptheBeat.com

5. Love in a Vacuum /1983 demo/ ('Til Tuesday) - My infatuation with Aimee Mann continues. I was reading the iTunes review for Til Tuesday's 1985 "Voices Carry" cd and the author kept talking about how great the demo for "Love in a Vacuum" was (better than the fully produced version that appears on the album). It took me a while to track it down, but I have to say I agree with him. Free download at http://www.studiowner.com/

6. Season of the Witch (Karen Elson) - Jack White's wife covers Donovan for the "True Blood" soundtrack. Great version, but of course I still prefer Courtney Love's. :^)

7. Amy (Mashup-Germany) - We lost Ms. Winehouse last month. I was surprised how touching this mashup was. Free on PumptheBeat.com. RIP Amy.

8. Substitute (Gloria Gaynor) - This was originally recorded by the Righteous Brothers, and Gloria decided to put her own spin on it. The song was soon eclipsed by the B-side single, however - "I Will Survive". Gotta say I like 'em both!

9. Belong (The Pains of Being Pure at Heart) - Perky alt-rock song from another awkwardly named alt-rock band.

10. Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win (Beastie Boys featuring Santigold) - If you had told me back in college that the Beastie Boys would still be around in 2011, I wouldn't have believed you. But here they are with this reggae-tinged single!

11. Dating a Porn Star (the Weepies) - Jill had this band on one of her playlists, and while browsing their catalogue I stumbled across this track. Never would have guessed it would be a tender ballad.

12. Do Nothing 'Til You Hear from Me (Boz Scaggs) - Another act I'm surprised is still recording. This is from a Billie Holliday tribute cd that came out this summer.

13. Wait & See /Richard X remix/ (Holy Ghost!) - This bouncy remix is great for some end of summer poolside chillaxin'.

14. Crystal Clear (the Darling Buds) - Hate to admit I missed this band first time around. Luckily I had Jill to call them to my attention. Better late than never!

15. Get Away (Yuck) - These guys did a Daytrotter session back in April. This wasn't one of the free tunes, but I liked them enough to check out their other music. Something about this reminds me of Smashing Pumpkins. Good stuff.

16. Speck (Deep Dark Robot) - Former 4 Non-Blonde member and hit producer (Pink, Gwen Stefani) Linda Perry returns to the studio with her new band. Great tune, but I still wish she'd gone for the "Big" ending (think: Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" or Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here").

17. School (Aer) - These guys make me smile. The song is about what makes them smile (hint: it's not school).

18. It's My Party (Quincy Jones featuring Amy Winehouse) - I had to have one more Winehouse song! QJ was putting together an album that showcased his work throughout a decades-long career. Who else but Amy to interpret his greatest Lesley Gore hit? Quincy Jones + Lesley Gore + Amy Winehouse = win win win

19. Sidewalk Talk (Jellybean featuring Madonna) - This month's official throwback. Back in the early 1980's, Jellybean and his girlfriend Madonna were the toast of NYC. He was a DJ and had worked on remixing Madonna's first album, which had made her a star. To return the favor, she contributed this song to his 1984 album "Wotupski !?!" Pretty sure the album is out of print, but this single still turns up occasionally. An under-appreciated Madonna track, IMHO.

Brant's July 2011 Playlist

2011-06-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

The holiday fast approacheth, so I wanted to get July's playlist out ASAP. This month includes some new favorites along with some unearthed gems. My friend Jill inspired me to go through some of my old mix tapes - and I'm so glad she did. I unearthed several songs that I had held dear at some point in my life, yet had forgotten about over time. Enjoy!

1. California Soul /A. Skillz Remix/ (Marlena Shaw) - Another jazz vocalist gets a delicious millennial facelift. Great companion to the Madison Park vs Lenny B remix of Nina Simone's "Look of Love" and Adam Freeland's remix of Sarah Vaughan's "Fever". Free download on PumptheBeat.com.

2. Bow Chicka Wow Wow (Mike Posner feat. Lil Wayne) - Fun R&B seduction song with a rock vibe.

3. Lost in My Mind (The Head & the Heart) - Holden referenced this on his Facebook wall and I loved the song. Makes me think of the old West, cowboys and the whistle of railroad trains.

4. I Should Forget (Dynamic 4) - This summery jazz song was on an old playlist from 2003. I'm happy to have it back in circulation.

5. Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair (Arctic Monkeys) - The Monkeys return with more psychedelic rock.

6. Nasty (Christina Aguilera & Cee Lo Green) - Unreleased track from the "Burlesque" soundtrack, probably leaked in response to their both being on "the Voice". I love the Jimmy 'Bo' Horne sample!

7. The Rhythm of Love (Lushus Daim & the Pretty Vain) - I had her poster in my freshman dorm room back in college (she looks like a female hybrid of Prince & Michael Jackson), but never bothered to buy the album. I stumbled across it on a music blog and I'm happy to report it wasn't bad! It's been out of print for years.

8. Drink Before the War (Sinead O'Connor) - Another lost single. When "The Lion & the Cobra" came out, I was obsessed with Sinead. It still sounds great after all this time.

9. Got to Give It Up (James Taylor Quartet) - Marvin Gaye's seminal soul classic gets retrofitted for a 1960's bachelor pad. Makes me want to put on my crushed velvet smoker's jacket and mix up some Moscow Mules in my stainless steel cocktail shaker...

10. Homesick Blues (Never Shout Never) - For me, summer is all about concerts. This bluesy number makes me think of cold beers and hot shows. Free download on Daytrotter.com.

11. Miss Me (Andy Grammer) - This was a free download on iTunes. Decent pop song in the style of David Gray or Daniel Powter.

12. Freeway (Aimee Mann) - Former lead singer of 'Til Tuesday did this session on Daytrotter back in 2008. She still sounds great.

13. Stay With Me 'Til Dawn (Heather Park) - Sleek, contemporary take on Judie Tzuke's haunting classic.

14. Bright Nights, Bigger City /Shapeshifter's Heavy Disco Remix/ (Cee Lo Green) - Cee Lo's latest gets even bigger & brighter thanks to the Shapeshifters.

15. I Love My Redneck Roots (Canady Thomas & Chris Cook) - This is the theme song to a local film called "Redneck Roots" being produced by some friends of mine! Can't wait to see the movie!!

16. I Can't Make You Love Me (Bon Iver) - Colton turned me on to this. Heartbreaking Bonnie Raitt cover & the B-side to the new "Calgary" single.

17. The Man Who Played God (Danger Mouse & Sparklehorse feat. Suzanne Vega) - The latest Danger Mouse collaboration with unexpected guest vocalist Suzanne Vega!

18. America (Prince & the Revolution) - I wanted to have something patriotic for Independence Day, so this month's throwback is Prince's red white & blue tribute to the US of A! Happy 4th of July e'er'body!

Brant's June 2011 Playlist

2011-06-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

1. Bright Sunshiny Day (Mashup Germany) - Jimmy Cliff, Kelis and I'm not quite sure who else are thrown into the musical Cuisinart to result in this summery selection.

2. Sad Song (the Cars) - Didn't expect a new release from Ric Ocasek & gang, but gotta say I like it! Thanks to Stacy & Janique for the 'heads up' on this!

3. I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You /the Twelves Remix/ (Black Kids) - Glee did this in a "blink & you'll miss it" prom sequence, and it reminded me how much I liked the original.

4. Instant Love (Sylvia Love) - This month's Disco Discharge pick is Sylvia Love's sublime 1979 Euro hit. Sounds like something Georgio Moroder might have done for Donna Summer during the "I Feel Love" years.

5. Restless Moods (Lulu) - Found this on an R&B compilation. Lulu recorded it in 1999, thirty two years after her classic "To Sir With Love" and she still sounds great!

6. L.O.V. (Fitz & the Tantrums) - I'm still digging these guys!!! Free download on Daytrotter. Thanks again to Jill for calling them to my attention.

7. Songbird (Glee Cast feat. Naya Rivera) - I wasn't sure how Fleetwood Mac would work in a Glee episode, but when Naya Rivera as Santana sang this to her love interest, Brittany - I got chills. I've always thought Christine McVie was underrated as a member of Fleetwood Mac. Hopefully the resurgence of this gorgeous ballad will give her some long overdue props.

8. Jupiter Flight No. 9 (Herman's Rocket) - Every now & again I come across a song that was probably meant to be edgy and avant garde but turned out to be ridiculously campy. This sounds like 1970s space porn! It still makes me smile, though.

9. Life (Ministry of Funk feat. Sade) - The Ministry of Funk guys drag Sade out of the bedroom and onto the dance floor! I first heard this poolside in Ft. Lauderdale - so now it immediately makes me crave sunshine and Mojitos.

10. Talking 'Bout a Revolution (Afro Fiesta) - This is from the first Playing for Change cd - which brings musicians from around the world together to raise money to build music schools across the globe. This is a Tracy Chapman cover, but they also do a great version of "Gimme Shelter" by the Rolling Stones on their second cd.

11. Two Against One (Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi feat Jack White) - Danger Mouse + Jack White! Yay!

12. Better Than Love /Freemasons Pegasus Club Mix/ (Hurts) - Nine minutes of bliss. Sounds like something New Order might have done.

13. How to Love (Lil Wayne) - I don't love everything he does, but I do love how he always surprises me.

14. Mine Is Yours /Passion Pit Mix/ (Cold War Kids) - The latest from CWK gets an electro boost.

15. Post Break Up Sex (the Vaccines) - Heard this on the Sirius Alt Nation channel, and was thrilled to find it as a free download on Daytrotter. Not bad advice, either!

16. Gold Mine (Breanne Düren) - This was a free download on iTunes. Sounds a little like Jenny Lewis, which isn't a bad thing!

17. The Roller (Beady Eye) - Oasis members pull together this awesome Beatles-esque anthem after Noel Gallagher exits the group.

18. Daydream Believer (the Monkees) - Since a lot of this month's list had a 60s vibe (Lulu, Fitz & the Tantrums, Beady Eye) I decided this month's throwback would be one of my fave 1960s songs. Sheer bubblegum bliss - and I like having that in my world.

Jabberweekendy

2011-05-27T17:07:00.000-07:00

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All sudsy were the beerogoves,
In jubfuxtercation of the holidabe.

Branchula wore his mollitoffle loose,
As the sun beat down in fensome facation;
The Boombox burbled in blustery bloose
As he gnannifelt his gnawesome three day vacation!

Brant's May 2011 Playlist

2011-05-04T05:17:00.000-07:00

1. Good Girls (Cris Cab) - Nice downtempo ballad with an R&B vibe.

2. So In Love (Jill Scott feat. Anthony Hamilton) - Jill is back with this delicious smooth groove.

3. Love at First Night (Kim Hart) - This month's Disco Discharge selection comes from their "Disco Ladies" compilation. Her voice sounds like Beyonce' to me.

4. Kiss You Off (Scissor Sisters) - I just caught them in Atlanta last month with Josh. If you ever get the chance to see them live I highly recommend it.

5. Marie Provost (Nick Lowe) - Based loosely on a true story! Silent film star Marie Prevost lived the lush life then died in obscurity. Unfortunately by the time they found her, her pet Dachsund had been nibbling on her. No reason not to write a fun pop song about it, though!

6. Colt .45 (Turbo Fruits) - Jill had these guys on her April playlist, and they are a hoot. This previously unreleased song is a free download on Daytrotter.

7. Purple Rain (Lucky Peterson) - Somebody had posted this on their Facebook wall, so I gave it a listen. Great bluesy reinterpretation of Prince's signature song.

8. My Society (De-Phazz) - One of those songs that sounds old and new at the same time. It has a slinky loungy feel to it that would suit Eartha Kitt.

9. Best of My Love (Phoebe Snow) - We lost Ms. Snow recently. I know "Poetry Man" is her best known track, but I love her cover of the Emotions disco song. It sounds a little dated today, but there's no denying Phoebe's joy in singing it.

10. Que Veux Tu /Madeon Remix/ (Yelle) - French dance track I found on PumptheBeat.com.

11. I Wrote the Book (Beth Ditto) - Gossip's rowdy lead singer goes solo with this sassy electronic number. This definitely ain't her first time at the rodeo!

12. Rock n Roll People in a Disco World (Sparks) - I'm just now getting into this LA Band. Much as Blondie was able to seamlessly morph between punk and disco and pop - these guys began as glam rockers before embracing disco and later new wave.

13. Stayin' Alive /Teddybears Remix/ (Bee Gees) - Disco people in a dubstep world!

14. Don't Gotta Work It Out (Fitz & the Tantrums) - First Jill, then Jeff told me I HAD to check these guys out! They are a contemporary band that is bringing back the late 60s/early 70s rock sound - think Rare Earth or Ides of March. Definitely worth a listen, and free download on Daytrotter.

15. Can't Find My Way Home (Alison Scott) - I found this while trying to track down Alison Krauss' version, which unfortunately is only available on the Crossing Jordan soundtrack. I went for the 99 cent single rather than getting conned into buying an entire album just to get the one song I wanted. When is the music industry gonna learn that trying to screw people over like that is the reason people illegally download songs???

16. My Girl (Nouvelle Vague feat. Sophie Delila) - French band continues their singular mission to reinterpret 80s songs. This is their reworking of Devo's "Girl U Want". Imagine if Chuck Berry had a sex change and then recorded a Devo tribute!

17. Ocean Drop (PJ Simas) - Mellow pop song with rhymes and sweet female vocals.

18. Rich Girls /Le Castle Vania Remix/ (the Virgins) - Great alt rock song gets a Spring Break remix.

19. Good Girls /Sucka Free CJ Remix/ (Cris Cab) - These were posted together on PumptheBeat so it seemed a shame not to include them both. It's just interesting to hear how a song is recorded by one artist, then reinterpreted by another.

20. Mutiny (the Family) - This month's throwback. After Morris Day left the Time, Prince decided to take the band in a new direction. He installed two new vocalists, added a symphonic orchestra, and changed the band's name to The Family. They only recorded one album, which has been out of print for 20 years, but Prince clearly is fond of this track - he's played it regularly at concerts over the years.

Brant's April 2011 Playlist

2011-04-05T14:12:00.000-07:00

This month's playlist is dedicated to Spring Break and getting myself and anyone else into the spirit. Hopefully the pollen will taper off and there will be nothing standing between us and the warmer weather.

1. Civilization (Justice) - French electro duo return with a rock anthem! Unexpected but still great.

2. Loser Like Me (Glee cast) - Peppy pop to get your toes tappin'. Who cares if Sue Sylvester is throwing sticks at your head???

3. Keep Me Under the Sheets - Mochi Beats Remix (Ellie Goulding feat. Three 6 Mafia) - Get your Spring Break party started with this fabulous mash-up. Free download at http://pumpthebeat.com/?s=keep+me+under+the+sheets

4. Holdin' On (Rooney) - West Coast rock for convertible cruising. Their free downloadable session on Daytrotter includes this too - but Jill had a track from that on her April playlist so didn't want to plagiarize.

5. Dreamin' (Loleatta Holloway) - Miss Loleatta passed away last month, so wanted to have one of her tracks on here. Gone but not forgotten. The gospel breakdown at the end is fab!

6. The Sweetest Thing - Richard Hawley remix (Camera Obscura) - Originally was from their last album, but this remix makes an appearance on an EP they just put out. Hopefully a new album is on the way. I love their 1960s sound!

7. Summertime Girl (Shwayze & Cisco) - Jill turned me on to this! The EP (The W's) is available as a free download on the internet, but you have to search for it. Technically a summer song, but works for Spring break too, I think.

8. The Garden (the Creepshow) - My first foray into "psychobilly", thanks to Jeff. Some of their other stuff is rather disturbing, but this tune has a sweetness to it that appealed to me.

9. Girls With Accents (Fences) - He drops the "F" bomb quite a bit, but like the previous song - there's an endearing sweetness to the melody.

10. Gasoline (Britney Spears) - I'm still convinced the REAL Britney Spears is locked away in a mental institution somewhere, but her look-a-like nails this funky ode to explosives.

11. Filling Up with Heaven - Hardfloor Vocal Radio Mix (the Human League) - Spanky turned me onto this guy who's screen name is "musicoloog" on Sound Cloud. He has some cool remixes of tons of 80s acts (Pet Shop Boys, Human League, Simple Minds). This is one of them, and it's a free download at http://soundcloud.com/ikoens4/the-human-league-filling-up-with-heaven-hardfloor-vocal-radio-mix

12. Wait Up (Tokyo Police Club) - Peppy alt rock complete with "woo hoo hoo" backup vocals. Who needs more? Sure to turn up on a TV or movie soundtrack sometime soon.

13. Drunk Girls - Holy Ghost Remix (LCD Soundsystem) - This was a free download on iTunes. Not sure what made me think of Spring Break...!

14. On and On (Mac Miller) - Another freebie on iTunes. I like the mellow piano accompaniment.

15. M79 (Vampire Weekend) - This was from an older Daytrotter session, but still a goodie! Free download at http://www.daytrotter.com/dt/vampire-weekend-concert/20030173-110924.html

16. Give Me a Break (Vivien Vee) - I just discovered a CD series called "Disco Discharge" that I love! They have more volumes than I can afford at once, but their mission is to publish rare and previously unavailable disco recordings on CD. This is from their Euro Disco compilation. I'm sure more selections will be on future playlists and playing at the Russ Communications office! The video is hilarious. Vivien is working her butt off for three people on a sofa who can barely be bothered to snap their fingers and occasionally clap! Link to video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3vTmHqXEMo

17. Coco Jamboo (Mr. President) - This month's official throwback. Heard this on satellite radio and definitely put me in the Spring Break spirit. Where's my Mai Tai?

Brant's March 2011 Playlist

2011-03-04T20:26:00.001-08:00

Advanced warning - this is a weird one. I think I'm just bored with a lot that is out there, so I was searching ALL over for interesting stuff.

1. Get Some (Lykke Li) - Swedish chanteuse doesn't need a ring on it. She's a prostitute.

2. Helena Beat (Foster the People) - upbeat follow up to their excellent "Pumped Up Kicks". Can't wait for their full length CD to drop.

3. Hold My Hand (Michael Jackson feat. Akon) - As creepy as it is to release songs after people die, I have to admit I like this one. I just wish I could feel confident that the folks who decided to release this record were doing it to share the music and not just reap some final profits.

4. I'll Be Waiting (Adele) - Adele gets her Janis Joplin on for this soulful performance. Love the horns!

5. Cut It Loose (Nic Cowan) - Country tinged stomper that sounds like John Cougar Mellencamp

6. Blue Skies Again (Jessica Lea Mayfield) - this was a free download on iTunes. I didn't like it at first but it's growing on me. Can a song be peppy and gloomy at the same time?

7. Simon Simon (Dale Bozzio) - stumbled across this while looking through some 80s stuff. Dale was lead singer of Missing Persons. After she left the band, she cut this single and a solo album. It seemed like a no brainer that she'd do great as a solo artist, but for whatever reason it never happened for her.

8. Triangle Walks /Rex the Dog remix/ (Fever Ray) - Side project of Karin Andersson from the Knife. The Knife's stuff is really weird and trippy, but this is...well, still weird and trippy - but you can dance to it.

9. Hey Alli (Runner Runner) - catchy boy band pop

10. September (Full Flava feat. Chantay Savage) - mid tempo cover of the Earth Wind & Fire song with Chantay's tasty vocals

11. Sweetest Taboo (the Watson Twins) - Jill had this on her playlist last month. It's a great interpretation of the Sade song. Free on Daytrotter

12. Girlfriendz (Drizabone Soul Family) - 1990s UK act returns with this smooth soul record

13. In the Ashes (Late Night Alumni) - LNA return with a spooky dance track. The Tuned Logic remix is good too, and a free download at http://soundcloud.com/tunedlogic/in-the-ashes-tuned-logic-remix

14. New Touch (Jimmy Edgar) - Funky outer space robot jam!

15. Work That Fat (Prince) - Unreleased Prince track I stumbled across while trolling the music blogs. Not very PC but can't argue with the beat. Prince is still playing with the vocal distortions on this tune - sounds like an out-take from Diamonds & Pearls.

16. One Last D.A.N.C.E. (5 & A Dime) - Ever go out and get blasted and dance your butt off, and the whole evening is a blur? That's what this mash up reminds me of. Your whole evening condensed into 3 minutes & 42 seconds. Free on PumptheBeat.com

17. Leaving It Up to You (Colleen Green) - the alt rock Donny & Marie cover song you never knew you wanted (but now you do!)

18. Bar (Sonia Leigh) - Imagine if Hank Williams Jr's soul got put in a skinny, butch 20 year old girl. She opened for Loretta Lynn and was great live.

19. Calling All Friends (the Low Stars) - A Facebook friend had this on her wall and I loved the song. Sounds like classic Cat Stevens to me.

20. Make Me Lose Control (Eric Carmen) - This month's throwback is a guilty, guilty pleasure that came on the other day while my iPod was on shuffle. Total 80s cheese, but it always makes me smile. I have to admit, when Eric sings "turn the radio up" I usually do.

Brant's February 2011 Playlist

2011-02-05T07:18:00.000-08:00

1. California /Hustle and Flow/ (Social Distortion) - Mike Ness & crew deliver a flat out old school rocker. They have a free session on Daytrotter that doesn't include this tune but has a great version of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".

2. Snowflakes (Jeremy Fisher) - Cute winter song that sort of ties together Christmas and Valentine's Day for me. Plus - I just want ONE more good snow before we jump into Spring.

3. I'm Not Your Toy (La Roux) - Jason had this on his wall the other day. I hope the success of "Bulletproof" doesn't overshadow some of their other tunes.

4. If I Go (Aer) - I had these guys on last month's playlist with their version of "We R Who We R". This is another laid back groove that reminds me of some of the R&B songs of the 70s ("Float On" by the Floaters). Free download at http://pumpthebeat.com/?p=3488

5. Higher (the Saturdays) - British girl group power anthem

6. White Knuckles (OK Go) - Free download on Daytrotter.com. The more I listen to these guys the more I like them! This is an unplugged version of their peppy pop song (see #19)

7. This Ain't a Love Song (Scouting for Girls) - Probably not the happiest song to have during Valentine's Day month, but the sentiment rings true. Kinda feels like the boy version of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive". Breaking up sucks but it gets better.

8. Price Tag (Jessie J) - I just stumbled across this while surfing the web one day. Reminds me of something the Black Eyed Peas might do ("Where Is the Love").

9. Love Shadow (Fashion) - I found this in the Used CD store. How did I miss this the first time around? Funky 1980s New Wave.

10. Inspiration Information (Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings) - This was on an AIDS benefit CD called "Dark Was The Night". Sharon Jones singing Shuggie Otis for AIDS/HIV relief = win win win.

11. You Come Back (Edie Brickell) - Edie comes back with a great nighttime driving song.

12. My Body (Young the Giant) - This was a free download on iTunes but I liked it. It's somewhere in that Glam Rock/Arena Rock category. I love the chorus "My body tells me no, but I won't quit 'cause I want more!" Perhaps the new theme song for "Celebrity Rehab"?

13. Cars, Money & Fame (Timeflies) - Another song I found on PumptheBeat.com - which is becoming my go-to website for new and cool urban music.

14. Scenic World (Beirut) - Tired of the same old, same old in your Alt Rock bands? Look no further! These guys kick it WAY old school - like Eastern Europe in the 1800s.

15. Rhythm of Love (Plain White T's) - Just a fun, simple happy song. And that's plenty!

16. Marathon (Tennis) - Nautical tales set to 1960s girl group sounds? Bizarre but I kinda like it.

17. Semi Delicious (Shriekback) - Who knew these guys were still around? "Nemesis" was one of my favorite party tunes back in college, but this smooth groove from their Dec 2010 cd has been on heavy rotation since I stumbled across it earlier this month.

18. 100 MPH (Mazarati) - This month's throwback. Prince was working with these guys back in the 80s but kind of screwed them over when he heard them playing "Kiss", a song he had written for them. He liked their version of the song so much, he took it back and recorded it on his own! He let them keep this one - but without any "hits" the band quickly faded into obscurity. This still sounds like a Prince B-side, though.

19. White Knuckles (OK Go) - This is the album version - which sounds like Maroon 5 after a few Baby Guinness shots. Fun party tune!

Brant's January 2011 Playlist

2011-01-02T07:28:00.000-08:00

1. Wake Up Everybody (Thelma Houston) - 30 years after her iconic "Don't Leave Me This Way", Thelma sounds as good as ever. This seemed like an appropriate message to start the New Year.
2. Here He Comes Again (Cheetah Whores) - I'm pretty sure it was Jill who turned me on to this band. I already love female garage rock, and this band was bad-ass enough to be on the "Sharktopus" soundtrack!
3. Tell Me I'm a Wreck (Every Avenue) - Fun, catchy emo rock
4. Hey Soul Sister (Glee cast) - Train's sublime song gets the Glee treatment, with glorious results
5. Fallin (Jay Z and Marvin Gaye) - Aneesha called this to my attention. It's a mash-up of "Fallin" from Jay Z's "American Gangster" album and "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. Free download at http://www.jayandmarvin.com/.
6. Exception of Love (the Truth) - Found this in the Used CD store. I vaguely remember them from the 1980s but listening to them again I'm pleasantly surprised how well it's held up over time. Reminds me of Style Council and The Jam.
7. Time Machine (Robyn) - Robyn continues her pop onslaught with "Body Talk Pt. 3".
8. All the Bugs Are Growing (Wussy) - I can't remember how I stumbled across this Cincinnati band, but they always make me smile. Also check out "Motorcycle" and "God's Camaro".
9. Outside (the Black Ryder) - These guys opened for the Cult on their most recent tour. Kinda shoe-gaze, but they were great live.
10. Buzzin' (Mann) - Never thought I'd hear Nu Shooz sampled in a rap song, but it works!
11. I Am a Song (Electric Six) - Imagine Steppenwolf with Lou Reed's backup singers, repackaged for the new Millennium.
12. We R Who We R (Aer) - Ke$ha gets kidnapped by stoner straight boys who force her to chill the f*ck out! Free download at http://pumpthebeat.com/?s=aer.
13. Big Wave (Jenny & Johnny) - Jenny Lewis ditches the Watson Twins for boyfriend Jonathan Rice, to serve up some tasty surf rock.
14. Shell Games (Bright Eyes) - Didn't see this coming! Conor Oberst returns to his original band. Has a New Wave feel to it, but still 100% Conor.
15. Stereo Love (Edward Maya featuring Vika Jigulina) - Sirius has been playing the heck out of this but it's catchy. Makes you feel like you are in a quaint European cafe' somewhere.
16. I Buried a Bone (Blind Pilot) - Heard this on the "Cyrus" soundtrack and was thrilled to find it as a free download on Daytrotter.
17. Make It Hot (Teena Marie) - When she died last month, I started going through her most recent recordings - which I'm embarrassed to admit I hadn't paid much attention to previously. Hard to believe this is a woman in her 50s singing. Lady T was HOT right up to the end. She will be missed.
18. One Step Closer to Something Good (Linkin Park vs. Utah Saints) - Another mash-up, this time with a Kate Bush sample added to the fun. Jeff turned me on to this. Free download at http://www.mediafire.com/?vwoizcmzbmb.
19. Like OMG, Baby (DJ Earworm) - Third and final mash-up, this time of 2010 pop hits! Free download at http://djearworm.com/.
20. Point of View (DB Boulevard) - This month's throwback. This song was on every self-respecting gay man's stereo when it came out in 2002 (it was even featured in a "Sex & the City" episode), then it disappeared. Not sure what made me think about it, but decided to track it down. Still sounds great!

Brant's 2010 in Pictures

2010-12-22T08:34:00.000-08:00

Holy cow! It's the end of the year already. Aside from the usual end-of-year questions:

Did I accomplish everything I wanted to?
How could I have made the past year better?
Could Justin Bieber have been prevented somehow?

I was thinking back on all the people I was fortunate enough to get to spend time with this year. The photo montage below is dedicated to them. I hope to see them and even more great people in 2011!

Happy New Year!

Brant's 2010 Holiday Playlist

2010-11-26T19:42:00.000-08:00

So after much deliberation, this is my 2010 Holiday playlist. I got suggestions from Facebook friends, added some of my own, and threw in a couple of new discoveries. There were some that friends suggested that I liked, but after a few listens I didn't feel that they matched the mood of the rest of the playlist. I also wanted to include "Don't Be a Jerk (It's Christmas)" by Sponge Bob - but once again it didn't really fit in with the rest of the songs. My main goal was to have a few classics thrown in with some others that are good but haven't been played to death by the radio stations. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

1. All My Bells Are Ringing (Lenka) - my favorite Christmas song of recent years.
2. Christmas/Baby Please Come Home (Darlene Love) - the original, now classic version. It's also been covered notably by U2 and Death Cab for Cutie.
3. Christmas Island (the Andrews Sisters) - this is probably my favorite classic Christmas song. I just love the harmonies and the non-traditional view of the holiday: no sleds and reindeer here!
4. Beautiful Star of Bethlehem (the Judds) - this one is over 20 years old, but just stumbled across it while searching through holiday songbooks. It deserves more attention (if it hasn't gotten attention already - I know I never heard it!)
5. Ain't No Chimneys in the Projects (Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings) - Sounds like classic 60s soul, but this is a contemporary band. Check them out!
6. Christmas Kisses (Ray Anthony) - I imagine swanky Yuletide Cocktail parties with tinsel trees and fondue pots when I hear this.
7. Merry Christmas/I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight (the Ramones) - I was really surprised nobody suggested this one. Love it! 80s Punk Rock holiday spirit.
8. I'm Gonna Lasso Santa Claus (Brenda Lee) - hilarious, campy and just waiting for a drag queen to perform it.
9. A Snow Globe Christmas (Pink Martini) - another new song I'm digging these days
10. Everybody's Waiting for the Man with the Bag (Kay Starr) - big band Christmas boogie
11. A Child Is Born (Rihanna) - I'm probably in the minority here, but I find Rihanna most engaging when she is true to her Caribbean roots, as she is here
12. Peppermint Twist (Joey Dee & the Starliters) - This one reminds me of my Mom, who used to play it all the time. Not sure it's a Christmas song, but it does mention peppermint!
13. Holiday (Vampire Weekend) - Jason suggested this. I'm not convinced it's a Christmas song either, but in my mind I picture people who get away from the winter weather to vacation somewhere tropical
14. River (Joni Mitchell) - a sad and beautiful Christmas song that has been covered quite a lot lately. Per usual, the original is still the best.
15. Ring Those Christmas Bells (Peggy Lee) - Another favorite of mine
16. Snowbird (Anne Murray) - Spread your tiny wings and fly away!
17. Cold Cold Winter (the Pixies Three) - Everything a 60s girl group song should be: catchy, bittersweet and sung like there's no tomorrow. Another one that deserves more attention!
18. Christmas Time Is Here (Ivy) - I got requests for Charlie Brown Christmas, so this is my salute to Vince Guaraldi. It manages to sound retro and new at the same time
19. O Holy Night (Mahalia Jackson) - Even if you're not a Christian, this woman can make you believe
20. Pink and Glitter (Tori Amos) - Another suggestion, from my friend Tyler. I love the big band feel to it
21. Blue Christmas (Elvis Presley) - I got multiple suggestions for this, and it is a great song
22. Christmas for Cowboys (Jars of Clay) - Jill had the John Denver Christmas cd on her holiday playlist, so this is my salute to her
23. What the World Needs Now Is Love (Jackie DeShannon) - This was never a Christmas song but in my head it seems to spell out everything Christmas is about (philosophically)
24. What Are You Doing New Year's Eve (Nancy Wilson) - I love her voice, and this is another favorite holiday song of mine

Brant's November 2010 Playlist

2010-11-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

1. Felicia (the Constellations) - fun & funky r&b sound. don't play in front of the kids!
2. White Night (the Postelles) - this was played in a recent episode of "Raising Hope" and Mitch tracked it down.
3. Nasty Little Rumor (Shena) - sassy soul
4. Too Young to Burn (Sonny & the Sunsets) - these guys were on last month's playlist. i love their retro surfer sound. free on daytrotter.com
5. My Heart Skips a Beat (the Secret Sisters) - more retro sounds! this was free on iTunes, and i totally dig the classic country vibe
6. Mama Used to Say (Jupiter) - smooth electronic remake of an old skool tune from the 80s
7. Dream On (Glee Cast feat. Neil Patrick Harris) - Doogie Houser sings Aerosmith!
8. All the Best (My Morning Jacket) - cover of a John Prine tune
9. That's Some Dream (Good Old War) - these guys get their Simon & Garfunkle on with glorious results
10. F*ck You (Cee Lo Green) - Julie turned me on to this. Never has bitterness sounded so jubilant
11. Prisons (Trashcan Sinatras) - when i saw the name of the group, i totally expected Punk Rock. not this gorgeous acoustic song
12. O Dospuntocero (Dospuntobeat) - another freebie on iTunes. trippy electronic upbeat lounge
13. Early Morning Wake Up Call (the Hives) - the Hives are back!!!
14. Chelsea Hotel (Dan Bern) - Jill turned me on to this guy. reminds me of classic Dylan
15. Nervous (Sunshine Anderson) - Carolina girl serves up some hot buttered soul
16. Nobody (the Doobie Brothers) - the Doobies remake one of their classic album cuts and sound better than ever
17. The Sun (Portugal. the Man) - kinda mellow, kinda psychedelic...
18. Let's Go Where the Action Is (the Twistaroos) - I think the action is wherever these guys are playing!
19. Poison Lips (Vitalic) - part Blondie, part Goldfrapp, part fembot
20. G Spot (Jill Jones) - this month's throwback. Prince wrote this song for Vanity, but when they split he passed it on to Jill. Fabulous but regrettably out-of-print.

Brant's October 2010 Playlist

2010-10-01T16:29:00.000-07:00

1. Internet Killed the Video Star (the Limousines) - This is an obvious Buggles rip-off, but that doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable. The video is fun too.
2. Pumped Up Kicks (Foster the People) - For some reason this reminds me of something Joe Jackson might have done in the 80s. Impossible to listen to and not nod your head to the music.
3. Hang With Me (Robyn) - she's coming to Atlanta next month! Hope I get to see her show.
4. This Too Shall Pass (OK Go) - Arena rock for a new millennium. Their video for "White Knuckles" is fantastic!
5. Wedding Day in Funeralville (Conor Oberst & the Mystic Valley Band) - This is from a John Prine tribute album called Broken Hearts and Dirty Windows.
6. I Wanna Do It Again (Sonny & the Sunsets) - Jill had this band on her playlist last month and I loved them! Great end of summer music.
7. Shakey Ground (Anna K) - Another one inspired by Jill's September playlist. She had the Temptations version on hers but mentioned enjoying a version of the song by Queen Bee and the Blue Hornet Band. I couldn't find that one, but while searching I came across this phat & phunky version by Anna K. I know nothing of the singer. Most of her songs are in Spanish, but she rocks this song en Ingles!
8. Any Which Way (Scissor Sisters) - Jake Spears and co. pick up where "Saturday Night Fever" left off!
9. Bang Pop (Free Energy) - Imagine if Weezer were a glam rock band and you'll have some idea of what this sounds like.
10. Better Than Today (Kylie Minogue) - Kylie releases new cd. Gay men across the globe rejoice. As well they should.
11. Headphones (Michael Franti & Spearhead) - Beautiful song by a beautiful soul. If you ever get the chance to see him live, do it. He's awesome.
12. Lemon Tree (the Mynabirds) - When I first saw this on Daytrotter, I thought "this can't be the Rick James/Neil Young band". It wasn't, but it's still an awesome track. And free on Daytrotter!
13. It's My Time (the Mynah Birds) - Okay, THIS is the Rick James (yes, THAT Rick James) and Neil Young (yes, THAT Neil Young) band. From 1966.
14. Burning Up (Glee Cast feat. Jonathan Groff) - Because "Glee" is back. Yay!
15. Paradise (Molella feat. Alessia D'Andrea) - fun dance pop
16. T-Shirt /Radio Killa Remix/ (Shontelle & The Dream) - Remix of her earlier song still just a sweet and bubble-gummy. I think she's more popular in the U.K. than here, but I like her.
17. Happy Ending Story (Hole) - Found this as a bonus track on the download version of "Nobody's Daughter".
18. Lucas With the Lid Off (Lucas) - This month's throwback is a bizarre mix of big band and hip hop, but it works!

Brant's September 2010 Playlist

2010-08-31T18:18:00.001-07:00

September is birthday month, so I took the liberty of changing directions. This month's selections are from way back in the day. I kinda feel like the 80's club music gets forgotten somewhere between disco of the 70's and the techno of the 90's. But the 80's were when I was just beginning adulthood and these were the songs we were listening to. Some of these are out of print and tough to track down, but I have fond memories of them all. I make no claims as to their musical merit other than at some point in my life they put a smile on my face. Enjoy!

1. Serious (Donna Allen) - a kickass song, but the album cover alone was worth the purchase price
2. I Can't Wait (Nu Shooz) - my freshman suite was ready to murder me for playing this on an endless loop in the dorm
3. Whenever You Need Somebody (O'Chi Brown) - one of the first 12" singles I ever listened to
4. Be Your Man (Jesse Johnson) - I was just talking about this song with my friend Stacy today, great solo effort by one of the guys from The Time
5. Boys Do Fall in Love (Robin Gibb) - solo effort from a Bee Gee, never was a hit but this was a summer fave for me & my friends the year it came out
6. Obsession (Animotion) - proof that synth pop can rock
7. The Object of My Desire (Starpoint) - classic 80's R&B
8. Boy (Book of Love) - church bells + gender bending vocals = happy Brant
9. Mercedes Boy (Pebbles) - flirty dance pop
10. Jukebox (the Flirts) - cult favorite that we spent a lot of nights dancing to
11. Manhunt (Vanity) - Nasty girl gets more coy, less graphic. Her autobiography comes out this year. I'm sure Prince is nervous.
12. The Politics of Dancing (Re-flex) - Great unappreciated New Wave groove
13. Lovesexy (Prince) - Prince in his helium-huffing phase still throws down
14. 99 1/2 (Carol Lynn Townes) - I think I was the only one in the world who LOVED this song
15. High Energy (Evelyn Thomas) - The first song I ever remember hearing in a dance club. Still makes me smile every time I hear it.

Brant's August 2010 Playlist

2010-08-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

1. Zorbing (Stornoway) - for some reason this makes me want to drive through the Scottish moors in a convertible with the top down.
2. He Hit Me /It Felt Like a Kiss/ (Hole) - twisted little Valentine's Day song from Courtney Love performing on MTV's Unplugged in 1995. Took a while for me to track it down. Thanks Josh! Also previously sung by the Crystals in 1962 and the Motels in the 80s.
3. Dancing on My Own /Rex the Dog remix edit/ (Robyn) - sounds like something Berlin would've done back in the day
4. Alejandro's Holiday (DJ Corey Craig) - Inevitable mash-up of Lady Gaga & Madonna's "Holiday". Not a huge Gaga fan, but it's fun poolside music.
5. Birthday Boy (Drive By Truckers) - southern rock!
6. A Little Opera Goes a Long Way (Sky Sailing) - Owl City's Adam Young goes "unplugged", perhaps hoping for more hugs from lightning bugs?
7. Topsy Turvey World (Natalie Merchant) - hmmm...nursery rhyme set to a reggae beat? only Natalie could make this work.
8. Flushed Down the Pipes (Great American Trailer Park Musical cast) - "Like clothes from Walmart my life is falling apart". Genius.
9. Journal of Ardency (Class Actress) - trippy electronic beats; free on Daytrotter.com. I had to look up "ardent/ardency". It means fierce intense feeling. I use it in a sentence in #17.
10. Free the Night (Aquene) - glittering, shiny, glorious disco
11. Evil Thoughts (Foxy Shazam) - more Freddy Mercury-style pop rock!
12. Firecracker (Frazey Ford) - folksy female with a banjo
13. They Say It's Wonderful (Susan Lucci) - soap star gets her Diana Krall on; not as bad as you'd expect!
14. Nightingale (Dana Falconberry) - beautiful haunting female vocals; free on Daytrotter
15. Losin' Yo Head (Monsters of Folk) - Conor Oberst & friends rock it out
16. Alive /Dave Aude club mix/ (Goldfrapp) - an instant dance floor classic
17. I'm Losing You (Uptown) - This month's throwback. Fantastic 80s dance version of the Temptations song. iTunes, which is normally ardent (see #9) in their greed, for some reason only has this available in the UK store, not their US store so you can't order it unless you have a credit card with a UK billing address. For once they don't seem to want my money! I had to get a friend in England to buy it for me. Thanks David.

Brant's July 2010 Playlist

2010-07-08T13:53:00.000-07:00

Wow! Can't believe it's been over a year since I've posted anything. Obviously work has gotten really busy. Well, until inspiration hits I'm going to start posting my monthly play lists. I always make time for new music--so at least this way there will be some content on here until I pick up my writer's pen again. Thanks for following!

1. Beat Control (Tilly & the Wall) - Great little summer ditty
2. Your Arms Around Me (Jens Lekman) - mid-tempo Swedish pop that makes kitchen mishaps romantic again!
3. Fire With Fire (Scissor Sisters) - new stuff, new sound. free on iTunes
4. Naturally /Dave Aude' radio mix/ (Selena Gomez & the scene) - fun clubby pop
5. 100 Years from Now (Karen Elson) - Jack White's wife has her own eclectic style
6. Ahead of the Curve (Monsters of Folk) - pretty much anything Conor Oberst does, I love
7. Hey Soul Sister (Train) - infectious, overpriced mainstream song. d*mn your catchiness!
8. You're Losing Me (Ann Sexton) - real life soul sister
9. Samantha (Hole) - just saw Courtney for the first time this month. awesome doesn't begin to describe it
10. Blister in the Sun (Nouvelle Vague) - these folks continue their glorious 80s remakes
11. Don't Turn the Lights On (Chromeo) - love these guys. close your eyes and you'd swear you were in an R&B bar circa 1987
12. Midnight (the Watson Twins) - Every now & then I hear a song that Janis Joplin would have done a great job with. These ladies do okay too. :^)
13. Yeah Yeah Yeah La La La (Calvin Harris) - Calvin gets his Prince on
14. The Only One (the Black Keys) - more moody rock
15. Pick Up the Phone (Dragonette) - free on iTunes. fun 80s sound
16. The Only Way to My Heart (Foxy Shazam) - these guys opened for Hole in Atlanta and put on a hysterical live show. Love the lyrics.
17. If You Let Me Be Your Anchor (Dawes) - soothing and simple, free on Daytrotter
18. Love Removal Machine (the Cult) - this month's throwback. not soothing, not simple. just awesome.

A Place at the Table

2009-06-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

I’ve been working on a little sociology experiment lately and I’m happy to report that it is going very well. I got the idea from one of the projects on which I have been collaborating. The project is called Crossroads Charlotte and it deals with bringing people of different backgrounds, ethnicities and races together and building trust. As part of this project, I was privileged to be able to interview people of different races, ages, and sexual orientations. One of the questions asked was “What do you think are the best ways to get people from different backgrounds together?” A disproportionately high number of responses had to do with food. People like to eat, and if you create an environment in which they feel comfortable and entice them with the promise of a tasty meal, they will show up. In other words, if you cook it, they will come.

I bounced the idea off a couple of friends and work acquaintances, and everyone seemed to like the idea. Soon after, this little scheme had become a reality. We started with a group on the Crossroads Charlotte website, but once we created a Facebook page—things really progressed.

Our first group only had seven people, and we went to an Ethiopian restaurant. Admittedly the choice of such an exotic cuisine may be why the initial turnout was less than stellar. Happily, the people who did show up seemed to have a good time. Conversation was lively and everyone seemed to enjoy the experience.

For our next endeavor, we tried a Cuban restaurant recommended by one of the women in the Ethiopian group. This time we had eleven people (see pic)! Once again, everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves over another delicious meal. It seems food does indeed make a great common denominator.

I do recognize that it takes a certain mindset to want to try new things, and that if a person is open to trying new foods -- they are probably also open to meeting people of different backgrounds. I still am glad to have found a vehicle by which I can do this. I know that the people I have met in my life who are different from myself have also been the best people to teach me. Someone whose life is very similar to yours probably isn’t going to know much that you also don’t know.

I also had another thought as I watched these two tables of people intermingle. Over time, as the world becomes more integrated—there will be more interbreeding of the races. Eventually, as all the races meld—we will end up with essentially one hybrid race that is a genetic combination of all the races that were previously separate. There won’t be much need for racial tolerance, because we will all be one race. Eventually we may even move towards one world currency. Perhaps even just one world culture with nations taking on basically the same significance as individual states in one nation. I think I’m cool with that. I don’t really care if there are no definitive Americans, Mexicans or Ethiopians. As long as I can still get American, Mexican or Ethiopian cuisine.

Change and Me Against the World

2009-04-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts. Arnold Bennett

I don’t know who Arnold Bennett was, but the man speaks the truth! When I first changed careers I thought the biggest obstacle to overcome would be my parents. I was dreading telling them I had left my dental practice. I steeled myself in preparation for the concerned outcries I knew would be forthcoming. Little did I suspect they would be the least of my worries.

Mom & Dad handled the news rather well, and with that behind me, I figured it would be smooth sailing. I didn’t count on the fact that the rest of the world would be resistant to my career change. The initial part of 2009 has now schooled me to that fact.

My first lesson came when I decided to refinance my mortgage. A few years ago while I was still in practice, I had financed for 15 years in order to pay off my debt quickly. At the time the payment was not so much of a concern. With my new job and less income—I was ready to finance for 30 years and take advantage of the low interest rates, both of which would enable me to have a lower payment. Unfortunately it was not to be. The mortgage lenders were holding on to their money like Sally Field on a ski trip clinging to her last Boniva.

Apparently there is a steadfast rule that lenders will not loan money to someone who has only been in their career for less than 2 (two) years. I found this to be especially annoying because I had assets to cover the amount of the loan. I just wanted to be able to use the mortgage interest as a tax write-off. Unfortunately nobody would touch me—even with a great credit score and more than a year of income in my new job.

I understand that a complete change of careers is risky and that mortgage companies are trying to be more cautious after a slew of loan defaults. What I don’t get is this—a person is much more likely to default on a loan with a HIGHER payment. It seems like if you have a customer who has been reliable, has a good credit score, and wants to refinance—shouldn’t you work with this person? It feels like the bank wants me to default, and they want me to default ASAP. They can’t think in this depressed real estate market that they will be able to sell my condo once they take possession of it. I just don’t understand their logic.

The other insult came when I turned in my tax information. My accountant called me back and said he wasn’t sure I could use the expenses incurred to maintain my dental license (license fees, continuing education classes) since I hadn’t worked as a dentist in the past year. This was also completely annoying. I busted my butt to get those licenses, and if I am ever to return to dentistry I need to maintain them. Why can’t the government let me keep my safety net as I try something else?

I’m happy to report that we got the tax problems straightened out, but my accountant advised me to at least spend one day earning income related to dentistry every year so that we could justify the license expenditures in the future.

I guess one of my hopes in writing about this is to prevent anyone else from having these same problems. If you foresee a career change—go ahead and refinance your mortgage before you leave your current job. If you don’t, be prepared to wait two years. You may also need to decide if it’s worth it to you to maintain any credentials you have earned. It will be a challenge to justify the maintenance when you file your taxes.

All in all, however, I’m still glad I took myself on this little adventure. It was naïve of me to expect that it would be seamless, but I think if I’d spent too much time dwelling on the challenges I might not have had the courage to do it. Since I started with a quote, I’ll finish with another:

The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress. Charles Kettering

Suck it up, World. I’ve made the change.

The Magic iPod List

2009-02-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

This is something that's going around on Facebook, but I thought everyone should have a chance to do it. It's hysterical~you just answer the questions using your own ipod/itunes/mp3 player, etc. Instructions & my answers are below:

1. put the ipod/itunes/mp3 player, etc on shuffle
2. use it to answer the question
3. hit “next”
4. try not to cheat (it's hard)
5. share your answers with your friends

1. How am I feeling today?
Saturday Night - Bay City Rollers (I swear I didn't do that on purpose!)

2. How far will I get in life?
Stupid Girls - Pink (should I be worried?)

3. What is my best friend’s theme song?
Horny - Mousse T (okay--that's eerily appropriate)

4. What was high school like?
Like This Like That - SeSa featuring Sharon Phillips

5. How will today be?
That's My Goal - Shayne Ward (awww...a Valentine's song!)

6. What is in store for me this weekend?
If This Ain't Love, Don't Know What Is - Nicole Willis and the Soul Investigators (some of these are scaring me with how appropriate the answers seem)

7. What is the best thing about me?
Sweet and Low - Debbie Harry

8. What song describes my parents?
Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo - Rick Derringer (okay, that one couldn't be MORE WRONG!)

9. How is my life going?
Brandy Alexander - Feist (hmmm...again, should I be worried?)

10. What song will they play at my funeral?
Through the Eyes of Love - Peggy Lee (by all means, play a sappy song by an aging diva in tragic decline!)

11. How does the world see me?
Quiche Lorraine - the B52's (I'm down with that!)

12. What do my friends think of me?
Yummy (Tyler Nelson Dark Club Mix)- Gwen Stefani

13. Do people secretly think I’m good looking?
Can't Help Lovin' That Man - Trudy Richards (I SWEAR that's what came up!)

14. How can I make myself happy?
Gia - Despina Vandi (hmmm...weird dance track with Middle Eastern flave)

15. What should I do with my life?
I Know There's Something Going On - Frida (I just don't know what my role is!)

16. What is some good advice?
When You're In Love With a Beautiful Woman - Dr. Hook (my iPod is messin' with me now--what kind of advice is that for a gay guy??)

17. Will I get married?
Silent Night - The Tim Fuller Experience (I'll take that as a 'no')

18. Where will I go in life?
Right Here (Human Nature Mix) - SWV (well, at least I don't have to pack)

19. Will I Have Kids?
Smooth Operator - Sade (oh stank....are there kids out there I don't know about??)

20. What is my current theme song?
How Could He Do This To Me - Lonnie Gordon (my iPod apparently wants me to get off the Cross in case somebody needs the wood)

Super Bawl Sunday

2009-02-06T20:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I’m happy to report that one of the most stressful days of my year is now behind me. I know for a lot of people that day is April 15th (Tax Day), but for me it’s Super Bowl Sunday. I am genetically incapable of understanding football. It’s amazing that I can get a doctorate degree in dentistry, yet still not understand a game that middle school kids can play. I tried (half-heartedly, I’ll admit) for years before eventually giving up.

Until recently, I had a lesbian friend who hosted a Super Bowl Party and I always chose to attend her party rather than go to a straight friend's house. At least she & her friends didn’t expect me to know anything about football. Unfortunately she moved to Chicago and since then I’ve been trying to find another party. It’s not necessarily that I’m afraid I won’t understand what’s happening on the football field. I’m more afraid that a straight guy will start talking to me about what’s happening on the football field, and I will look stupid. I hate that.

I did a little prep before the party this year in hopes I could scrape by if someone would choose to engage me in conversation. I made a point of memorizing the names of the teams that were playing. I even decided which team I would say I was pulling for. Beyond that, it would be in God’s hands.

When I got to the party, I noticed with a mixture of joy & dismay that there were several cute guys in attendance. I knew none of them were gay (I’d already asked the hostess) so I made a beeline for the nearest female and struck up a conversation. Things were going great until I heard a deep baritone voice ask, “Who made these ham biscuits?”

Flustered, I turned around to see one of the hottest guys at the party holding one of the biscuits I had made (great recipe, btw—ham, swiss, mustard, Worcestershire Sauce & poppy seeds). Sheepishly I admitted to being the chef.

Next thing I know he was coming over and complimenting my cooking. He was friendly, seemed to be in decent shape but not overly obsessive about it, great smile, tall, and really handsome. He could have been one of my fraternity brothers from undergrad. If I could only find one of these in lavender I would SO be pushing to legalize gay marriage!

Just as I was starting to relax, he asked me who I was pulling for. I gave him my pre-selected answer and prayed he wouldn’t ask me anything else. He started talking about the current football season and I just nodded and agreed with him whenever he seemed to need approbation. Finally, I could tell he was winding things up and getting ready to make his exit to go talk to someone else. I was feeling pretty good about this. The key is to keep them talking and just nod and smile. If necessary, throw in a general question about the game, like “So you got any money riding on this?” I can totally pull this off.

“Well, dude, he said, “it’s been cool chattin’ with you. These biscuits kick ass.” With that I saw him extending his arm.

Expecting a handshake, I stuck out my hand. Unfortunately, he was going for the knuckle-to-knuckle punch so I ended up palming his knuckle with my open hand. He looked at me for a second, and then awkwardly just wandered away.

Damn. It sucks to fumble when you're so close to the finish line.

The Young & Restless Meet the Old & Curious

2009-01-17T15:24:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about being single is that it leaves you completely unencumbered socially. Without having to worry about whether or not (insert name of significant other) will like your new friends, or vice versa, you are free to mingle with whichever crowd you please.

Lately I’ve found myself adopted by a group of 20-somethings. It has been so much fun hanging out with these young men and women and, to some extent, recapturing the life I missed out on when I was their age. I always felt like I never got to experience the care-free life of a 20-something who is just out of college, because I went on to Dental School. I spent the next four years after college studying in the Dental School Library or in the Dental Lab making crowns or dentures for my patients. By the time I had graduated, most of my friends had moved on from the bar scene and were settling down. I realize that by staying focused and continuing to work during that time, I was able to secure a valuable education and future for myself—but I’ve always been more than a little envious of those who were able to play while I had to study.

I’ve learned a few things from hanging out with my new friends. First of all, do NOT take close-up pictures with them. The first time I saw a picture of myself with two of my friends, I was shocked. I looked like Dina Lohan with her daughters Lindsay and Ali. As great as you may look, when you’re standing beside a 20-something, you will suffer by comparison. Make sure the photographer is at least 6 feet away from you.

The other thing that shocked me is how much sex they are all having. I remember back in college, there was sex. Girls would sleep their way through a fraternity house, or certain guys would always come back to the dorm on a Sunday morning with stories of a virgin they had conquered—but nothing like this. Open relationships, three-ways, and orgies are all par for the course! Even the lines of sexual orientation seem blurry these days.

I’m certain that a cultural anthropologist would point to advances in AIDS treatments, decreasing social stigmas around sexuality, and increased drug use as causes. Personally, I just think it’s a factor of being young, cute & horny. These people are all over each other. Thus far, I haven’t been invited to participate, but I’m wondering how I will handle it if I am. I’ve done my share of experimenting, but always in controlled environments. The two times I personally tried an orgy have been when I was out-of-town and the participants were essentially strangers I knew I would never see again. I can’t imagine how it would work with people I see on a daily basis. How to you go back to discussing the new Britney Spears cd after teabagging with someone? I also don’t want to be the creepy 40-year old predator hanging around waiting to pounce on a drunk and vulnerable younger victim. I can’t help thinking that one of the reasons these young folks let me hang out with them is because I don’t give off that sexual predator vibe.

The flip-side of all this is that I am not some hunch-back just down from the bell tower. I’m no supermodel, but I’m not exactly chopped liver either. I am a little indignant that I haven’t been invited to participate in some capacity. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t know what I will do if one of my new 20-something friends invites me into his bedroom. But I still think it would be nice to be asked.

Date & Dash

2008-11-17T19:45:00.000-08:00

Well, I dipped my pinky toe back into the dating pool, and the piranhas bit it off. Somehow I managed to have yet another catastrophically bad date, despite deliberate planning and intentional choices.

I met the guy on Manhunt, which admittedly is not the best website for dating, but I felt like my screening process was adequate. We traded several emails, and I liked the way he presented himself in writing. We met for coffee and that went well too. He was attractive, close to my age, and seemed to have career goals and responsibilities. So, when the subject came up of having a proper date, I was amenable.

Usually for a first date I like to choose a place that is very public. My reasoning is that I’m less likely to be murdered by a serial killer if I’m in a crowded place. I have learned from my time on this earth that I am NOT a great judge of character, so better to take steps on the front end to protect myself rather than leave it to chance. Unfortunately, it still backfired on me.

The place I chose for our first date was the performance theatre where I have just become a Board member. I figured it would provide the public setting to ensure I don’t get chainsaw-ed to death, and show my support for my new colleagues at the theatre.

He did show up for the rendezvous, and I introduced him to my friends at the theatre. My date seemed a little tense, but I figured it was just first-date jitters. Soon it was time to sit down for the performance.

I immediately knew something was up when I heard him breathing heavily beside me. My first thought was that maybe he had food poisoning, but he seemed way too fidgety for intestinal distress. His hands were clutching the armrests of his chair, not his stomach or (thank goodness) his crotch. Suddenly he stood straight up and hastily said to me, “I’m sorry, I can’t do this! I have to get out of here!!!” With that he bolted to the nearest exit.

Nothing makes a man feel hotter than seeing his date literally crawling over the other patrons in their seats to get away from him.

I chased him and managed to stop him briefly at the doors that entered into the lobby of the theatre. He hastily explained that it wasn’t me, but the play that had freaked him out. With that, he was gone.

Admittedly, the play was a challenging one. It was “The Rabbit Hole”, which had garnered Cynthia Nixon a Tony Award on Broadway for portraying a mother who has lost her son to an auto accident. All kinds of terrible thoughts were going through my head—had he lost a child? A car? A Tony Award? What could it be???

I was worried about my date, so after the show I resolved to call him. On a hunch, though, I decided to check Manhunt first. There he was, back online trying to salvage what was left of his Saturday night by finding another guy. So much for him being upset.

Since that night, he has called once and sent me an email. I decided not to return the call. I did write him back, and told him I felt like he had some more pressing matters to deal with other than starting a romantic relationship. I also apologized for taking him to a play that obviously upset him. Unfortunately, I can’t be the one to fix him.

If I were in my twenties, I would probably see this as my chance to ride in on my white horse and nurse him back to psychological health. Now that I’m in my forties, I know that it never works. Either you don’t fix them and you end up with a co-dependent cripple, or you do fix them and they dump you for someone younger and hotter who didn’t know them when they were damaged.

That’s the last I’ve heard from this gentleman. He has since taken his profile off Manhunt, so I don’t guess I’ll ever see him again. I do sincerely hope this guy gets the help that he needs. I also hope he doesn’t come looking for me with a chainsaw.

P.S. I'm not completely insensitive. If I really thought this guy had lost a child, I'd have never made light of this evening. The fact that he ditched me and went straight home to get back online makes me believe he had other reasons for leaving the theatre that night. Just wanted to be clear on that.

Turns for the Worse

2008-10-16T13:50:00.000-07:00

Desperate people can be driven to do desperate things. Every now & again I’m reminded of how true this can be.

Charlotte roads are known for being two things: confusing and constantly under construction. The same road may change names several times in the course of a few miles, and most likely will either be closed or littered with orange & white construction barrels blocking the lanes. I’ve lived in Charlotte for close to a decade, so I think I’ve got the names down - but the construction still gives me trouble.

The other day I was late for a meeting, and as I approached the building I was dismayed to see the road was closed due to construction. I followed the detour signs and found myself positioned down from where I needed to be on a one-way street. The only way I saw to get to the building was to take an illegal left turn and dash into the parking lot before oncoming traffic approached. Convinced there had to be another option, I searched again. Unfortunately I ended up in the same situation: confronted with taking an illegal left turn. I felt like I had exhausted every avenue, so finally in desperation I just took it.

I feel the same way about finding music online. I understood when record companies shut down Napster as a free music downloading site*—but still was angry. It makes sense to me that the industry does not want people stealing music that is available in the stores to purchase. It is not fair to the artist, the label, or the vendors. Unfortunately, I was using Napster to obtain music that was out of print. Much of what I was getting was from obscure 1980’s acts (Vanity, Apollonia 6, Donna Allen) that have been out of print for years. This is music I remember from my teenage years that holds very fond memories for me. If the record companies would make it available to buy, I would buy it. But it’s not available.

The other day I was looking for another of these obscure songs: “When Love Surges” by Jules Shear. No reason why you would know it. I searched Amazon, iTunes and even eBay for a digital version of this song- nowhere to be found. Completely frustrated, I Googled it. It showed up on one of those Napster offspring websites. There it was, dangling right in front of me like the apple that tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden. I had tried to buy it legally, but it wasn’t available. All it would take was a push of the “Download Now” button. Convinced there had to be another option, I searched again. Unfortunately I ended up in the same situation: confronted with taking an illegal download. I felt like I had exhausted every avenue, so finally in desperation I just took it.

*Blender magazine, in their April 2008 issue talked about the history of music downloading. Before the 1980’s, consumers had the option of buying a hit single, or if they preferred, an entire album. Once cd’s came out in the 1980’s, the music industry got greedy. They figured if they discontinued singles, consumers would be forced to buy the albums (which cost more). It worked for a while, until technology in the 1990’s enabled consumers to share music as digital files. Consumers had found a way to circumvent a system built around greed and get the singles they wanted.

Rather than learn from their mistakes and try to reach a compromise that would work for everyone, the music industry shut down Napster and began suing people caught illegally downloading songs (including a single mother of two, with a yearly income of $36,000, for $222,000). It was a publicity nightmare, and by shutting down the ONE site where everyone was going (rather than try to work something out that would benefit everyone) they encouraged users to scatter and create innumerable copy-cat sites. Today there are scads of these sites available, and no conceivable way to stop or control them. When one is shut down, another surfaces to take its place. Napster was restructured as a pay-per-download site, but it was too late. Most Napster users had moved on to these other websites.

A Tale of Two Parties

2008-10-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

Recently I was invited to attend two 40th birthday parties on the same night. Having celebrated a 40th birthday myself, I didn’t want to miss either event—so I double-booked. People need all the support they can get when they hit 40.

The first party was being hosted by a guy who had found much success in Charlotte. He lived in a gated community in a beautiful home. The party was being catered and he’d hired a DJ and a bartender to mix drinks. As we arrived at the house, my friend mentioned that we were NOT supposed to talk about anything “gay” once we got inside. Since this person was one of the most obviously gay men I could think of (and he had personally hit on me one night—confirming what I already knew), I assumed my friend was kidding. He assured me he was serious. This man was not openly gay.

We entered the party and were greeted by our host. He gave us a quick tour of his home, calling our attention to his walk-in closet with designer suits and hand-made scarves from Scotland (!), his master bedroom with the canopy bed (!!), and the dessert table loaded with pastries that he had made himself after finishing his Pastry Cooking Class (!!!). Each announcement was met with stifled praise and sidelong glances. It was like fireworks were going off and nobody would admit it was the Fourth of July.

The most uncomfortable moment came when someone suggested they have a Roast for the birthday boy. When volunteers were asked to step forward and tell stories, nobody would do it. Nobody seemed to know what was safe to tease him about. After an uncomfortable silence, the DJ mercifully started the music again and people just turned back to their conversations. My friend & I decided that was a good time to leave.

The second party was being hosted by a lesbian friend of ours and her partner. She was a poetess who had worked as a sign language interpreter to put her girlfriend through Culinary School. Now that her girlfriend was working, she was paying for the poetess to go back to school. Money was very tight, but what they lacked in financial support was more than compensated for with emotional support. There were no caterers, DJs or bartenders at the party. In honor of the poetess’ 40th birthday, there was a big washtub with 40 ounce beers on ice. Music was provided by a mix tape made by one of their friends. The place was packed, though, and everyone was laughing. Their tiny house was filled to capacity so the party had spilled out into the back yard. Young, old, gay, straight, black, white, latino, abled & disabled attendees were there to toast their friend. It was a perfect celebration.

I’m sure as you’re reading this, you are thinking that this is YET ANOTHER plea for people to come out of the closet and pursue their own happiness. That’s definitely part of it. The lesson I took away from this evening, though, expands upon that idea. The choices you make as an individual are going to affect the people around you. If people are truly your friends, they will want you to be happy. If you aren’t able to name that happiness and your desire to pursue it, then how can your friends support you? You have to pick up that baton and lead your friends in the parade. When you aren’t true to yourself, you not only screw up your own life—you ruin the party for everyone else.

Vexed by Text

2008-08-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

Recently I met a guy in whom I was interested, and my pro-active straight friends decided to help push things along. They were going to a Carolina Panthers game over the weekend and had some extra tickets. My friend invited me, and she got one of her friends who knew the gentleman of interest to invite him. I was excited at the prospect of getting to spend some time with this guy, and I figured a group setting would be less stressful than a formal date.

We had arranged to meet at a bar near the stadium that had outside tables. It was a beautiful afternoon and everyone was looking forward to dinner outdoors. Seating was strategically planned so that I would be beside my guy. Unfortunately, once everyone was in place, a female in the group who was unaware of the dynamics asked if anyone would trade seats with her because she was getting too much sun. My guy immediately got up and traded seats.

I was still a bit nonplussed with this development when I got a text message on my cell phone. It was a flirty comment from my guy! My mood immediately improved. During dinner and the accompanying conversations, we traded flirty text messages with each other discretely under the table. It felt fun and a bit naughty. Soon it was time to go to the game.

Again, my awesome friends had arranged for me to sit beside my person of interest. At this point, things began to get strange. The guy positioned himself with his back to me (WTF??) and engaged the woman (one of our group) sitting on the other side of him in conversation. I tried once or twice to start a conversation, but he’d always eventually turn back to his friend. Disenchanted, I went with one of my friends to get a beer. Then the text messages started to arrive:

“Where’d you go?”
“Ur not leaving, are you?”

Now I was getting annoyed. It’s one thing to text me when we’re not sitting together, but to talk to your friend while I’m sitting beside you and THEN send a text after I leave is completely aggravating. I was sure when I returned he would be more attentive, but that didn’t seem to be the case. So I just struck up a conversation of my own with the friend on the other side of me.

After the game, I was convinced there were no sparks between myself and this guy—but my friend assured me he was interested. In a last ditch effort, I asked the guy if he’d want to have dinner together sometime soon. He said he would.

I guess the next step is to get something scheduled. I’m totally willing to take the initiative to call this guy and make some plans. I just hope this time he’ll actually speak to me instead of texting. Maybe we can have dinner at a hospital cafeteria—last I heard, they don’t allow cell phones in hospitals.

The First Anniversary

2008-08-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

I was looking at my calendar this week and realized that it was one year ago that I left my dental practice. In some ways it seems like it was only yesterday. In others it seems like a lifetime ago. It seems like forever since I actually worked on a patient. Unfortunately, the feelings I was having last year at this time are still pretty strong whenever I think about going back to dentistry. And the feelings I was having that last day at the office are still with me.

Because they knew I was leaving and a new doctor was coming in who would need to be trained, etc, most of the staff at my office decided to go on vacation the last two weeks I was there. It was reasonable to do so, and I don’t blame them—but it didn’t make my last two weeks a lot of fun. I was left to manage the office by myself. I got through it, but then on my last day—as my last patient walked out the door—I packed up my stuff and went to say ‘goodbye’. I was halfway down the hall before I realized there wasn’t really anyone to say ‘goodbye’ to. I had been working with the other doctor’s assistant that week, and we weren’t really that close. There was a new woman we had hired who was acting as receptionist, so she & I were still relative strangers as well. I just took my belongings and walked out the back. I remember feeling as though the profession I had never really liked apparently didn’t like me either.

So how am I feeling one year later? I’m still a little apprehensive about the future. I like my new job, and I’m learning a lot from the friend who hired me. I watch him work and it all seems to come so easy for him. I wonder if I will get to that point. I remind myself that he’s been doing this job for 12 years, and I’m only 8 months in—but it can still be intimidating.

I do feel like I’m on a better path now. I feel like I am growing again as an individual and as a member of my community. Dentistry left me so drained I didn’t pursue outside activities. Since leaving, I have joined the Board of a performance theatre and have really been able to dedicate some time to them. I’ve met a lot of people I would not have met otherwise—people of varied backgrounds and experiences from whom I feel I can learn. And I’ve been able to spend more time with the friends and family I already had.

All in all, it’s been a challenging and rewarding year. Was leaving dentistry the right decision? I believe it was, for me. Am I where I want to be? Honestly, not yet. But I feel like I’m heading in the right direction. It will be interesting to see where I am next year at this time.

Grave Concerns, Part Two

2008-08-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

What is it about dead birds that’s so unnerving? I grew up in a small town in the South, and seeing dead animals is nothing new to me. All manner of fauna could be found smushed along our rural country roads. Smelly? Oftentimes. But not as unpleasant on a visceral level as seeing a dead bird.

For the longest time I assumed maybe it was just me that felt this way, but then I heard an Eddie Murphy comedy album and he talked about terrorizing young girls when he was a child by threatening to put a dead bird on them. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone. I at least shared a phobia with the three-year old girls of the world.

I was jogging this past Saturday morning, listening to some old school club music*, and feeling very self-satisfied. Here I was doing something positive for my health while the rest of the world recovered from their hangovers. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and life was good. Suddenly I spied something directly in my path. It was a dead bird. Even though there was no turntable in sight, it was as if the needle had scratched and the music had stopped. It was horrible—just a compact pile of feathers and claws jutting out at odd angles. To my gay sensibilities it looked like a drag queen who had perished in some unfortunate sky-diving accident. The remainder of my run was haunted by the spectre of that feathered carcass.

As I finished my run, I tried to ascertain what it was about dead birds that freaked me out. Death itself doesn’t really bother me. And I like birds, as a general rule. I don’t think I’d want one as a pet—they are totally messy animals—but I like seeing them out in nature. Many of them are quite beautiful. I think that’s where the shock derives: how can something so beautiful in life look so unsightly in death? It’s as if, in the mere act of succumbing, everything that makes a bird so beautiful goes haywire. For the most part, you don’t see that anywhere else in the animal kingdom. Fish float upside down. People just turn grey. Birds die and suddenly it’s feathers and beaks and claws in complete disarray.

I haven’t decided if the fault lies with the bird, or with the feathers. Just in case, though—I need to leave some funeral instructions for dressing my corpse. If they have a viewing before my eco-burial, ABSOLUTELY NO FEATHER BOAS.

*”Kickin’ in the Beat” by Pamela Fernandez, if you must know. I DARE you to be unhappy when you listen to this song. It’s NOT possible.

Grave Concerns

2008-07-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

I’m about two-thirds of the way into my 90-in-90 exercise plan (see 5-30-08 posting). I’m not gonna lie and say I’ve been to the gym EVERY day since I started, but what I have tried to do is make up any days I miss by doing two workouts—eg. Weights + Cardio. Trying to find something different to do every day has forced me to sample some different exercise regimens. I tried Bikram (hot) yoga and sweated my butt off. I also revisited Cardio Kickboxing, but still found my enjoyment of the class was very dependent on the instructor, which is why I quit going originally.

One thing I have enjoyed is jogging in the cemetery. A guy I met recently thought that was totally creepy, but I disagree. Southerners are quite good to their dead, and the cemetery where I run is no exception. It’s very lush and green and well-tended. There is a paved road that winds through the grounds, and never any traffic. I’ll take that over jogging in the city streets any day of the week. Plus, being around all those skeletons makes me want to stay skinny too.

I can’t help but read the headstones as I run around, and the competitive side of me finds myself pitting my possible age of death against the age they died:
52 years old—I think I can beat that
77 years old—That’s gonna be a bit tougher
96 years old—Now that’s just showing off….
If I get a vote, which clearly I won’t, I think 85 is a good time to move on. Hopefully you’ll have had plenty of years to enjoy, some mistakes from which to learn, and someone younger to whom you can pass on your wisdom. By the time you reach 85, I’m assuming, your health issues will most likely be overshadowing your happiness. I can’t imagine you’ll be missing out on too much fun if you kick it at 85. Not much left to do after that but lose your teeth and poo on yourself.

As I look at all the tombstones, I do wonder if there’s not a better way to dispose of our dead. Dead bodies take up a lot of space. Will we eventually run out of places to put them? I’ve seen some of the cemeteries in Europe where bodies are packed upon bodies like a posthumous orgy. No thanks. I think I want an eco-burial.

Basically what they do is freeze your body to -321 F and grind you into powder. Then you are dehydrated and filtered (coffee, anyone?) to rid the powder of any heavy metals, etc. In about two hours you become compost, which can be used to fertilize a garden or forest. You can have a little memorial garden planted in your name, or just be scattered in the woods—if you don’t want to call attention to yourself. Either way, your remains will be useful, and not just cluttering up the place. I like that idea.

It does make me sad that I may not end up in a beautiful Southern cemetery with hot young joggers passing by, but maybe I can be scattered along a trail in the woods where there are hikers or something to keep me company. I could go for that….but hopefully not until I’m 85.

Old Maid

2008-07-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

This week was my god-daughter’s 4th birthday. I wasn’t sure what to get her until I stumbled across a deck of “Old Maid” cards at the gift shop. I remember loving that game. The package said ‘3+ years’ so I went ahead a bought it. It didn’t hold my god-daughter’s attention for very long (I was competing with a Strawberry Shortcake scooter and stuffed animals, so I didn’t take it too personally), but I was fascinated once I started poring through the deck. There was no longer a picture of a sad looking spinster on the “Old Maid” card! Instead it was a group shot of all the characters, and the words “Old Maid” written across the top. WTF????

I’m guessing that in these politically correct times, it just wasn’t acceptable to show an unmarried woman on the loser card. But speaking as a single individual of a certain age, I can’t say I was ever really offended. First of all, it’s a children’s card game—get over it! Secondly, I don’t think I ever identified with the grey haired woman in the Victorian gown that I remember seeing on the Old Maid card.

In my “Old Maid” deck, I’d put a much different woman on the solo card. First of all, she’d look terrific. She doesn’t have children waking her up at night and running her ragged during the day. She also has reams of disposable income, since there are no colleges to pay for, no day care, etc. This cash reserve is used to buy a kickin’ wardrobe, highlights for her hair, and a swanky uptown condo. She would be wearing unusual jewelry purchased on one of her many trips to exotic lands. My Old Maid would be of an indeterminate age—she’s had work done! And her social calendar would be filled with dinner parties, concerts, and (if she’s so inclined) the occasional date. She’d be laughing and toasting the great life that she built single-handedly.

When playing with my “Old Maid” deck, the person holding the “Old Maid” card may have lost, but the woman on the card is still in the game!

Illegal Smiles

2008-07-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have one of those nights where the stars just seem to line up and everything is groovy. The Bruce Springsteen concert the other night was one of those times. I’d gone with some friends, but instead of assigned seats we just had tickets for the floor in front of the stage. As expected, it was really crowded and hectic and soon I found myself separated from my posse. No worries, I had a cold beer in hand and Bruce was kicking into my favorite song, “Girls in Their Summer Clothes”, off his new cd. I was singing along when I suddenly noticed an arm around my shoulder. I looked over and a young (college-aged) Latino guy was drunkenly singing along with me. We finished our little duet (along with Bruce and the many other concert attendees) and the boy smiled real big and patted me on the back. Next thing I knew, he pulled out what appeared to be a hand-rolled cigarette, winked at me and said, “Make my night, dude. Split this with me!” So I did. By the end of the show, he & his friends had adopted me into their clan and we were taking pictures together and singing along with every song. It wasn’t until after the final encore that I remembered I had actually come to the show with another group of friends that I would have to track down (which I did very easily thanks to the miracle of cell phones). When I found them, I recounted my story with them and they were appropriately jealous. All in all, a perfect evening.

There seems to be something about music (and dare I say, what appears to be hand-rolled cigarettes?!) that brings people together. I’ve always found that to be true. A few months ago I was going through old photo albums trying to decide which pictures to scan for my online profile. I stumbled across a picture of me with a very regal looking African-American woman. I had no clue who she was, at first. Then I remembered and had to smile. I had gone to another show (the Who, I believe) back in the ‘80’s while I was in undergrad. It was a similar dynamic—I was with a group of my fraternity bro’s, we lit up, and found ourselves dancing and singing along with this super-cool couple (one of whom was the woman in the picture). We hung out with them the entire night, took some pics, and then never saw them again. But still, it was another perfect evening.

As you probably assumed, I haven’t seen the Latino guy since the Springsteen show. I don’t even remember if I gave him my email address so he could send me copies of the pictures. I’m fine with that. Part of me hopes, though, that one day—years from now—he’ll be going through his old photographs from when he was in his twenties, and he’ll stumble across the one of me with him. I’m sure he’ll wonder who the hell I am. And if and when he remembers—I hope he smiles.

Potent Potables

2008-07-08T15:42:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I was recently jealous. I went to Playa del Carmen for a friend’s 40th birthday. The trip was perfect. That didn’t bother me. The weather was great. I was fine with that. He was surrounded by people who love him. I was one of them. What I envied was that during the course of the festivities, the party planner that put together the event worked with a bartender and came up with a signature drink in his honor. A drink named after him! I couldn’t stand it! So of course I came home and got out my junior chemistry set to come up with a drink of my own. I googled the ingredients and as far as I know, nobody has mixed these before. Where’s the *%$!! Patent Office???

The Branchula (Branchula is a nick-name of mine, in case you’re wondering—rhymes with tarantula)

1 part Irish whiskey (an unexpected ingredient that is both exotic and memorable)
1 part Canada Dry Green tea ginger ale (for effervescence AND some healthy antioxidants)
1 part Cranberry juice cocktail (for color and necessary fruitiness!)

Mix together in a lowball glass and serve over ice. Hopefully you will find it light and refreshing—especially those of you who shy away from dark liquors!

And for those of you who are more health conscious, here is my secret pre-workout power drink. It’s great for those days you don’t really feel like working out—by the time you get to the gym you’ll be bouncing off the walls!

Brant’s Energizing Work Out Shake

3/4 cup chilled coffee (I like a bold coffee like Starbucks Sumatra)
3/4 cup 2% milk
1 scoop chocolate protein powder (lately I’ve been using American Sports Double Dutch Chocolate Supreme—20 g protein per scoop)

Mix in a blender and enjoy 45 minutes before you go to the gym. By the time you get there the caffeine will have kicked in, and you’ll have the protein available to build muscle.

So whether you want to work out or pass out, I have a beverage for you! Drink up, sweeties!

Prayer for a Wiener

2008-06-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Every now and then you see something that sticks in your head and you can’t stop thinking about it. I decided to hit the gym yesterday during my lunch hour, and as I was walking over I spied a woman saying grace over a plain hotdog in a bun. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

At first I felt bad for the lady, to be so grateful for a measly $1.19 hotdog. Had life been so unkind to her that she felt lucky to have this sole wiener in a bun? The cynical side of me chimed in that if times were this tough, she would’ve loaded up on toppings since those were free with purchase of the hotdog. This woman had not done that. She didn’t seem to be suffering. She was very nicely dressed and seemed to be a white-collar worker.

I then decided she must be a very devout individual. Good for her. Life is hard, and a good belief system enables a person to cope. Then I began to ponder this. God is quite busy—I’m sure that while He appreciates the gratitude, He probably doesn’t feel like you have to send Him thanks for every possible thing that is sent your way. It’s like the coworkers who copy you on EVERY SINGLE email. Perhaps it would be better to just make a mental note of what you’re grateful for and send one comprehensive prayer at the end of the day.

I also started thinking about the hotdog itself. They aren’t particularly good for you. In fact they are loaded with preservatives and Nitrates and fat. God probably doesn’t want credit for that hotdog any more than the French want credit for French fries. What if hotdogs are the work of Satan? In that case it was at best misdirected and at worst horribly inappropriate for this woman to thank God for the work of Satan. You wouldn’t thank God for murders or theft or disease or pestilence, so don’t thank Him for your poor food choices. God deserves better than that.

I never decided what the true story was. I DID decide that I had definitely put more thought into this woman’s meal than she had. After my workout, I made a conscious decision to eat a healthy lunch. Maybe that was why God had put that woman in my path…to get me to eat a healthier lunch than the one she was eating. And for that I am grateful.

90 in 90

2008-05-30T13:18:00.003-07:00

Desperate times call for desperate measures. It’s been 5 months since the holidays and I still haven’t lost the weight I put on between Thanksgiving and New Years. Usually I gain a bit during the holidays, but once they are over and the Christmas parties and huge meals and luscious leftovers are behind me, the weight falls off. I guess this is one more curse of getting older. This time around the holidays have stayed with me, and not in a good way.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to make adjustments for my ever-slowing metabolism. I remember when I turned 30 I had to give up my precious Chinese buffets. At 35 I had to hire a personal trainer*. Now it seems at 41 something else will have to happen. It occurs to me that I may be able to take a page from the Alcoholics Anonymous rulebook.

I have some friends in the program, and through osmosis I’ve become aware of some of the tenets of the organization. I’m not necessarily referring to the 12 steps, which I’m sure are available online, but to some of the things I’ve heard AA members are asked to do. Some of them seem to apply to weight loss as well as drinking.

1. Admit you have a problem. I certainly do. I’m gaining weight and can’t get into some of my clothes comfortably.
2. Admit you are powerless over alcohol. Apparently I’m powerless over food. I do love to eat, and don’t seem to have the power to metabolize it like I used to.
3. Attend 90 meetings in 90 days. This is the one which really intrigues me. Attending that many meetings in a row really demonstrates a commitment. Maybe if I commit to 90 gym visits in 90 days, it will be enough to jump start some weight loss and establish some healthy habits. I’m sure I can’t commit to exercising every day for the rest of my life, but if I get into the habit of going whenever possible, that has to be a good thing!

So that is what I’m going to try to do. I’m also hoping by publishing this, it will reinforce my commitment. Unfortunately I doubt I’ll see results before summer is well underway, which brings me to another step:

4. Make amends to people you have wronged. So, if you are unlucky enough to see me in a swimsuit this summer, you may be getting an apology letter in the fall.

*Part of me is wondering if the retained weight is a side effect of my un-retained personal trainer (had to let him go after December 2007), but since I don’t foresee him returning I will have to come up with another plan.

The Ball Pass

2008-05-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

I just heard from a friend of mine who was returning from a vacation in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He had a splendid time, but was a tad disappointed over one incident. He was out with his boyfriend and ran into a favorite celebrity—Matthew Rush, the renowned porn star. He got up the courage to talk to Mr. Rush, but his boyfriend became quite threatened and my friend was forced to leave before asking to take a picture with his idol. I don’t know Mr. Rush, but I was devastated for my friend. He’ll never get that opportunity again. And for his boyfriend to be that threatened over a simple photograph cannot be a good sign. A good partner should be able to tolerate a lot more than a photograph with a celebrity.

Personally, I believe every relationship should have Ball Passes. These would work like the Hall Passes we used to get in school. A Hall Pass gave you the opportunity to wander the halls during regularly scheduled class time. The Ball Pass would give you the opportunity to wander outside your monogamous relationship. It’s not a free pass to sleep around, however. As with the Hall Pass, it would only be issued under the most unusual of circumstances. Frankly, I think one Ball Pass per person per relationship is plenty. That way, if you happen to meet a celebrity and the chance arises to have sex with that celebrity—you can do so without damaging your primary relationship.

If the man I was dating had the chance to go to bed with Jake Gyllenhaal—I wouldn’t want to be the one to make him miss out on that opportunity. I’d want him to have it (and hopefully take pictures to show me later!). And if the situation were reversed, I’d want to be able to do the same without worrying about what my partner would think. Can you imagine how you would feel if you missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime because of your partner? And how would you feel if you & your partner broke up, and you had missed out on that opportunity? You could have had a great story to tell for the rest of your life, and now you passed it up for nothing! Why take a chance on building that kind of resentment?

I mentioned this idea to my friend, but I haven’t heard back from him yet. Part of me is wondering, though, if it’s not ideas like this that have kept me single for most of my adult life. Oh well. Better single than resentful.

Maneater

2008-04-21T19:17:00.000-07:00

Last night was the glorious Maneater Party. This is an annual tradition that started 21 years ago with a group of friends who decided to have a get-together and cook some chili. Today it has become one of Charlotte’s most enjoyable social events. It is still hosted by the same group of guys, and attended by their friends and friends of these friends. Perhaps because of the social integration, it just seems to have a good energy about it. Everyone is friendly, and there doesn’t seem to be that cattiness and/or pretentiousness that can sometimes accompany gay soirees. The chili is delicious, and they always have a cute bartender mixing margaritas. All of which combine to make this one of my favorite nights of the year.

I spent the first part of the evening mingling and catching up with acquaintances. Once the chili was served, however, I had some time to sit back and look over the crowd. I noted several of the men there I had dated at one time or another. There was the guy I picked up at jury duty. I can’t remember why that didn’t work out…I think he stole one of my Joni Mitchell cds. Then I saw the guy who told me about his penis pump on our first date—I definitely remember why that didn’t work out. I even saw the guy I really liked until he let it slip that he was married. I guess at this point he’s come out (let’s hope so for his wife’s sake!) and is now openly gay. He kept staring at me, but I couldn’t get a read on what he was thinking. I debated about talking to him, but decided that if he’d cheat on his wife—he’d certainly cheat on me. So I turned my attention back to my chili and my friends.

After the party, I was surprised to find myself in such a good mood. I half expected to be depressed after seeing so many failed attempts at finding a life partner. With a bit more reflection, though, I had to admit I was proud of myself. Sometimes I feel like I don’t really put myself out there—but after the party I realized that I have been putting myself out there and dating. I haven’t met Mr. Right, but at least I haven’t given up either. And I didn’t see anyone at the party that I felt like I had missed an opportunity. The guys I had broken things off with still didn’t appear to be what I was looking for. Happily there were plenty of new prospects at the party who could be what I’m looking for.

So I won’t beat myself up for not finding a man before I turned 40. The shame isn’t in failing, it’s in not trying. And I have been trying. But speaking of shame, it’d be a shame not to have some more of that fabulous chili. I wonder if they had any leftovers…..

Better not Butternut

2008-04-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo! I just got my taxes done, and it looks like I am due for a refund.
I debated about paying someone to do them this year, since I’m still on a budget, but finally took them to my accountant. When I first graduated from dental school, I would do my own tax returns. Over the years, with investments and property etc, it just became too complicated. I didn’t trust myself to do them correctly, and the time it would take me to figure them out wasn’t worth it to me. Better to pay someone who knows what they’re doing. It’ll get done faster, and I’ll still get to reap the benefits.

Once I get my refund, I intend to treat myself to a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant. I have been in a bit of a food rut lately, since I’m trying to do my own cooking—and my attempts to expand my dietary repertoire have had limited success. The other day I was browsing through the produce section and saw that they had butternut squash on sale. Hey, I thought to myself, I love butternut squash! I’d never made it before, but there was a sticker on the squash with instructions: “Cut squash in half, remove seeds, and heat until tender.” That didn’t sound too difficult, so I bought one. Never again.

What they neglect to tell you on the sticker is that butternut squash can only be cut in half with a bone saw. I was using the sharpest kitchen knife I had, and doing only slightly better than a monkey trying to cut open a coconut with a plastic spork…..and I have opposable thumbs! I know I spent 45 minutes hacking that stupid squash apart, and as much trouble as I was having, it’s a miracle the knife didn’t slip and hack off one of my fabulous opposable thumbs. Once it was cut open, I still had to scoop out the seeds and cook it. By the time it was all done, I had completely lost my enthusiasm. I decided the next time I had butternut squash, it would be in a restaurant where I could pay someone else to deal with the hassle of cooking it.

I guess the lesson to be learned here is that sometimes in the kitchen, as well as in your finances—it’s better to just pay someone who knows what they’re doing. It’ll get done faster, and you’ll still get to reap the benefits.

Wiggin' Out at the Gym

2008-03-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

Something terrible happened at the gym tonight. I ended up on a treadmill beside Smelly Sweaty Guy. This is the guy every gym seems to have who doesn’t feel the need to wear deodorant. I would have moved but there were no other available machines. So my choices were to abort my workout, or tough it out beside SSG. I decided to stay, but I was full of resentment. I may not shower before I go to the gym, but I certainly put on a fresh coat of antiperspirant so I don’t stink up the place. Getting motivated to exercise is tough enough without the negative reinforcement of having to inhale the fragrant fruits of someone else’s armpit glands.

While I was trying to ignore the fact that my nasal hairs were being singed off by the putrid fumes emanating from my neighbor on the treadmill, I reminded myself that human beings didn’t always have an agreeable smell. Deodorant has only been around since the 1880’s. It can’t have been pleasant to be around people before then. Obviously, somebody felt the same way because they invented deodorant. If only the guy beside me on the treadmill had gotten the news.

Happily, for the rest of us personal hygiene has made great strides in the last few hundred years. I remember when the movie “Marie Antoinette” came out, I did some reading about her. One of the things that shocked me the most was what I read about her hair. I always thought the huge beehive hairdos of that time were amazing, especially when you consider the French didn’t have Aqua Net in the 1700’s. Apparently, in the absence of hair spray, lard was used. It didn’t take long for these elegant hairdos to become rancid, and often they would attract vermin like bugs and mice while the women slept. Ladies of the time would carry a special device that looked something like a fondue fork with a bent tip to scratch their itchy heads and perhaps chase off whatever was burrowing around in there. I wonder if Kirsten Dunst would have wanted to play Marie Antoinette if she’d have had to wear one of these five-star roach motels on her head. Lucky for her, in these modern times, it wasn’t necessary.

Life is good now, and if a woman wants to have big, bug-free hair—the technology is in place for her to be able to do it. Unfortunately, if she goes to the gym—she still may have to work out beside Smelly Sweaty Guy.

To Breed or Not To Breed....?

2008-03-11T20:38:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night that I was a daddy. Not the leather pants and paddle type, but the biological kind. I must admit, I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I’ve just entered my forties (yikes!) and I have to decide if children are something I want to have. I know my parents would love it. I hear them talk about their friends’ grandchildren, and I can tell that they would love to have some of their own. That’s not a great reason for me to bring a human being into the world, however.

I also am at the point where I’m seeing adults from my childhood age into convalescence. Most of them are lucky enough to have children who can take care of them (or at least put them in a home where they can be cared for). I can’t help but wonder what will happen to me in my old age if I don’t have offspring to look out for me. Again, not a great reason for me to bring a human being into the world.

I don’t really feel like I am much of a caretaker. It’s about all I can do not to kill my houseplants. I remember once a good friend of mine left me with her two young children while she ran an errand. She said she would only be out for a few minutes, and the kids were eating so everything should be fine. Famous last words.

Her three year old and I got along great. I could talk to him and he could talk to me and we understood each other. The one year old was a different matter. He let me spoon feed him for a bit, and then suddenly began crying at the top of his lungs. I asked the three year old what mommy did when this would happen and he just shrugged. Thanks, kid.

I tried everything I could think of—making faces, pretending the spoon was an airplane, begging—but nothing was working. I was stumped. So the three year old and I just decided to let the toddler cry while we finished our dinners and stared uncomfortably in the opposite direction.

When my friend got home, she laughed and said the baby just wanted to be held. Honestly that had never occurred to me. Even if it had, I doubt I’d have done that. I was wearing a Burberry shirt, for pete’s sake. That baby had more food on him than in him.

So much for my innate parenting skills.

I do see that there are some rewards in raising children though. My friends who are parents (straight and gay) say it’s the best thing they ever did. Maybe I could find a nice lesbian couple who would do most of the child-rearing, and I could be the cool uncle or step-dad who pitched in every now and then. Maybe if I were in a stable relationship and had someone who could be daddy #2, I would even consider being the custodial parent. Either way, I’d have some help.

I guess what I’ve decided is that I need to bring another human being into MY world, before I start bringing human beings into THE world.

The Date That Never Was

2008-02-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

I almost had a date with someone! Before I stopped going to my personal trainer, I had developed a little crush on the guy who had the appointment before mine. He had salt and pepper hair, a decent build for a guy in his 40’s, and a great boyish smile. We had developed this rapport as he was leaving the gym and I was going in. I’d ask him if he’d survived his workout session, and he’d smile, nod and wish me luck. I told my trainer that I thought the guy was cute, but didn’t think anything else about it. I figured once I stopped seeing my trainer I’d stop seeing the cute guy.

About a month ago I got an email from my trainer. He informed me that his cute client had asked about me, and wanted to go out with me sometime on a date. My trainer also passed along the guy’s phone number! Suddenly I was in the hot seat.

After steeling my resolve, I finally called the number. The guy seemed very excited that I had phoned. I asked him out to dinner, and he sighed. It seems he was on the planning committee of the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) and their big fundraiser was this weekend. He asked if we could postpone the date until after the weekend. So I did.

The next week I called again. The guy seemed very excited that I had phoned. I asked him out to dinner, and he sighed. It seems he had a business trip he couldn’t get out of, and he would not be back until late Sunday night. He asked if we could postpone the date until after the weekend. So I did.

At this point I decided it was up to him to get something scheduled. Miraculously, he called me this past Monday night and left a message on my voice mail. He still was looking forward to our date. Okay, I thought. Maybe I was a bit too hasty to write this guy off. So last night I called him back and suggested Thursday. I didn’t hear back from him today. Not a big deal.

Tonight I had a meeting with a friend to discuss some fundraising for the performance theatre of which we are both board members. I walked into the restaurant and who should I see but the cute guy from the gym. I started to walk over, but he saw me and motioned to his ear—he was on his cell phone. Okay, I thought. I’d just sit at the bar until my friend showed up, and wait for the cute guy to get off the phone. Well, the cute guy got off the phone and DIDN’T COME OVER! My dinner companion hadn’t arrived yet, so it’s not like he saw me with someone and thought I was on a date. He just didn’t feel like coming over to talk to me.

Needless to say, I won’t be going on a date with the cute guy from the gym. I have to give him credit though. Usually I need at least one date with a guy before I decide to dump him.

L.A. Story

2008-02-02T12:03:00.000-08:00

I went out to L.A. this past weekend to visit some friends. They were going to have a party to allow me to meet some of their single buddies, so I was super excited. Of course after meeting everyone and mingling I made my decision. Turns out the one I liked was the one friend they had to invite to the party but didn’t want me to go out with. He’s cute and a lot of fun to be around, but quite a partier and very much a player. Apparently not relationship material. Oh well.

In happier news, L.A. has an Amoeba Music store. Amoeba is a new & used CD store, and my favorite one is on Haight Street in San Francisco. The great thing about these stores on the West Coast is that music industry people will go there to sell their used discs. A lot of the stuff you find there is out of print, or promotional discs that didn’t get released to the general public.

On this excursion, I found a U.K. promotional single from Courtney Love’s old group Hole. The cd had 2 (two!!!) unreleased songs. Who needs a man when I’ve got super-rare Courtney Love recordings??? I also picked up a Bright Eyes live disc and a free promotional disc by some artist I’d never heard of. All in all, a good spree.

Courtney’s new solo disc, Nobody’s Daughter, was supposed to be released last year, but unfortunately it hasn’t materialized. I’m scared and excited to hear it. Excited because I love Courtney (pun intended) and can’t wait to hear new material from her. Scared because she had sobered up by the time she recorded it. I know that she’s a mother and a human being and that this is the best course for her to live a long and healthy life, but personally I like my rock stars to be f*cked up.

There’s a quote from the British sit-com ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ that goes, “You can’t play rock and roll on a diet of corn, veggie juice, and Linda bloody McCartney’s Tofu Treats.” I couldn’t agree more. Drugs, sex and alcohol don’t make for a long life, but it does make for some great music. Witness Billie Holiday, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Pete Doherty, Amy Winehouse, etc. etc. They all were/are emotional and pharmaceutical train wrecks as people, but made/make great music.

So while as a humanitarian I wish Courtney all the luck in the world as she lives the sober life, the music fan in me is going to be skeptical until I hear the new disc. Hopefully she will prove me wrong and the new disc will be awesome. But if it’s not, I know I’m going to wonder if going straight caused Courtney Love to lose her edge.

Whether it’s romantically or musically, I seem to be drawn to the same type of individual. Someone who is quite a partier, very much a player, and not really relationship material.

New Year, New Job

2008-01-09T08:38:00.000-08:00

The New Year has brought with it a new job. My friend with the PR company that had given me a few projects to do last year has hired me full time. The pay is not what I was making as a dentist (goodbye, personal trainer! farewell, dual gym memberships and other extravagances!) but I’m grateful for this opportunity. My friend and I agreed that I’d work for him for six months and then re-evaluate. If things are going well, I will stay on. If not, I will leave with six months of great field experience. I should also have a better feel for where I want to go next—back to dentistry or onward to another career. I will say that so far I have not missed the dentistry.

I’d forgotten how mentally draining it is to start a new job full-time. I guess it’s because everything is new and takes your full concentration. The type of work is very different than what I am used to as well. A day at the dental office is very structured—you have appointments set and finite expectations of what you will do in the time given. In this PR office there are usually several projects going at once. You work on one thing for a while, then something else is given to you, or you may have to go back and revise something that you thought you had finished! I’m also learning the software and formats so it’s been doubly challenging. So far I’m enjoying it, though. My friend has also been a great mentor, so that’s fortunate.

For anyone who’s considered making a career change, I do have some advice.

Make sure that you’ve saved a financial cushion for yourself, because most likely you will have to start at the bottom of the ladder. This means less pay while you are learning your new trade. Hopefully you will be able to support yourself, but it will be a lot less stressful for you if you know you have some reserves available.
Don’t let that discourage you. I was making good money but wasn’t happy. I’d gladly take a pay cut in exchange for some bliss. I still believe that if you love what you do and work hard, the money will eventually come.
Use your social connections—friends and colleagues are your best resource. They are much more likely to take a chance on you than a total stranger would be.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. You never know until you try. If things work out, great. If they don’t—at least you now know that whatever you attempted is no longer an option. Isn’t that better than always wondering?
Don’t burn bridges! If things don’t work out in your new career, you want to be able to turn to the associates in your former career either to hire you back or recommend you to someone who can hire you.
Be humble and willing to learn. I was a doctor in my previous job, but in this one I am an apprentice. Taking initiative is fine, but I don’t need to be giving orders quite yet!

I guess that’s all for now. This blog has been great therapy for me, and even with the new job I intend to keep it going. Right now, however, I need to get back to work!

Looking Great in 2008

2008-01-05T19:08:00.000-08:00

New Year’s Eve came and went without a love connection, but 2008 appears to be looking up. A straight male friend of mine is taking me to a party this week where he wants to introduce me to some single gay friends of his. Martin Luther King weekend I’m going to L.A. to visit a gay couple, and they are having a cocktail party to introduce me to some more men. Additionally, a high school friend of mine out there is going to recruit some bachelors on my behalf. Apparently, it takes a village to get me laid (apologies to Hillary Clinton).

Lord knows I can’t be trusted to do this on my own. Take tonight for example—I was going to dinner and a movie with a female friend of mine. I figured since I’d be sitting in the dark for most of the evening, a minimal amount of grooming was required. After awakening from an afternoon nap, I simply smoothed my hair down with a wet comb, threw on an old turtleneck sweater and jeans, and headed out. When we got to the movie theatre, the show was sold out. We weren’t interested in any of the other pictures, so my friend suggested we go to a neighborhood restaurant for a glass of wine.

When we got to the restaurant, I was dismayed. The place was loaded with gay men. Add a urinal and it could’ve been a Republican restroom. This wasn’t even a gay or gay owned business. When will I learn that being single is like being a celebrity? You can’t EVER afford to leave the house looking bad. If you’re a celebrity you will run into the paparazzi. If you’re single you’ll run into hot prospects who will see you looking like sh*t and NEVER want to kiss you. How sad that after 40 years I still haven’t learned this.

I guess that will be my New Year’s Resolution. I will NOT leave the house looking disheveled. Even if I’m just walking to the grocery down the street, I will primp. If my dear friends are going to expend effort to get me paired off, I can at least expend some effort to look presentable. And then, once I’ve met my soul mate and pledged my trough—I can totally let myself go.

Christmas Scare-ols

2007-12-26T08:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a delightful Christmas for me, but it was over before I was ready to bid adieu. Fueled by wine and coconut cake, I was ready for a night on the town. Unfortunately, the Queen City was not cooperating. Ideally, I would’ve liked to have gone to a Christmas drag show. I envisioned a sexy Ms. Claus whose drag name was Yuletide Carol or something equally festive, who would serenade me with a bevy of Eartha Kitt and Peggy Lee classics, while I sipped a mulled cider and flirted with Donner—a slightly younger reindeer sporting a provocative leather halter and huge antlers. Sadly, it was not to be.

Instead, I lit some candles and played some Christmas music on my iPod. Unfortunately I started analyzing the lyrics of the carols. I’ve always thought “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” was vaguely threatening. It starts out as festive well-wishes, but then the caroling turns malevolent. Wishes turn to demands as the carolers' craving for figgy pudding takes over. And they “won’t go until we get some”. What the f*ck??? Who even has figgy pudding around these days? Wherein lies the fault—the poor homeowner who hasn’t properly prepared for the holiday, or the unreasonable carolers who are hopelessly out of touch with the times? I blame the carolers. A good terrorist will choose his battles more carefully, and cite demands that can actually be met.

I also marveled at “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”. What should be a heartbreaking tale of infidelity has become a children’s classic. Granted—the Santa Claus in the story is the child’s father in a costume, but the child doesn’t know that. He seems to be taking his mother’s indiscretions amazingly well. If my mom was an indiscriminate slattern with a granddaddy fetish I don’t think I’d be singing about it. “What a laugh it would’ve been, if daddy had only seen…” So much for divorce being hardest on the children. This kid is looking forward to the custody hearings—if he & Mom end up with Santa he gets free toys for the rest of his life.

I guess it’s best not to put too much thought into the holidays. As I said in the earlier posting, it’s more about the spirit of the season. I ate some great food, spent some time with people that mean a lot to me, and got some decent bling. And if I didn’t get to make out with a hot reindeer who was more hung than the Christmas stockings—I’ve still got New Year’s Eve…..

Seasons Eatings

2007-12-23T12:26:00.000-08:00

Ah, the holidays! As clichéd and commercial as they can be, I have to admit I still love them. Friends put aside the distractions of day-to-day living and make getting together with each other a priority. Families, usually with the help of some spiked eggnog or hard cider, set aside petty differences to enjoy a day of feasting and familiarizing. Even the office Christmas parties can be fun, as you get a chance to see the person rather than the co-worker.

I love the silliness of it all as well. Whether it’s a ridiculous Christmas sweater, a cheesy Christmas song, or a poorly animated Christmas special on television—it’s just fun. Friday night I was treated to some college boys Christmas caroling and it brought back fond memories of me & my fraternity brothers doing the same thing. It’s nice to know in this cynical world there is still some honest enjoyment to be had in tradition (although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder if I could convince one of the college boys to give me a lap-carol!).

As I’ve gotten older, my reasons for loving the holidays have changed, but the love is still there. When I was little, I used to look forward to the presents. Half the fun was trying to figure out what the gift was before unwrapping it. My brother would just tear into each gift hastily, but I liked to take my time and savor the anticipation. I would try to see how little of the wrapping paper I could remove and still figure out what the gift was, reading the small print on the box or looking for a tell-tale label (Matchbox, Sony, etc.).

Nowadays, instead of slowly unwrapping a present, I love peeling the foil off a freshly baked dish as I take it out of the oven. I still take my time and savor the experience—first the aroma, then gazing at the bubbly sides of the casserole dish, then finally taking the entire layer of foil off to admire my creation. And unlike a Christmas present, I get to eat it once I unwrap it!

The holiday season is the one time of year I give myself permission to indulge in whatever fattening, delicious foods come my way. I figure it’s my reward for watching my diet the other 11 months of the year.

So anyway, I hope everyone reading this has a great holiday—whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa. Take some time to savor the season, and if you have any leftovers—let me know. I’m suddenly very hungry.

A Pessimist on Marriage

2007-12-04T18:03:00.000-08:00

I just heard from two friends of mine in Canada who are going to get married. The unusual thing about this couple is that they are two men. Canada is one of the few countries to recognize same-sex marriages (along with Belgium, Spain, the Netherlands, and South Africa*). My friends have been together for 11 years, and I think they will have a wonderful marriage.

Here in the U.S., the battle for gay marriage is still being fought. In principle I do think it should be an option, but after watching one guy I know go through two divorces—it’s awfully hard for me to go to bat for this issue. This particular man has been making a good living for more than ten years, but after two divorces he is essentially destitute and having to live with his parents while he regains his financial footing. I have another friend from dental school who recently divorced her husband, and she too got taken to the cleaners. It sucks that by the mere act of legally declaring your love for another human being, you are setting yourself up for financial ruin. And given some of the choices I’ve made in my love life, I have a feeling I would be one of the people to get financially devastated if I should have the right and the opportunity to marry.

I had lunch with two friends today and we were talking about the old ‘70’s television series “In Search Of…” It was hosted by Leonard Nimoy, and every episode centered around the search for some mysterious entity—Bigfoot, Amelia Earhardt, UFO’s. We were joking about what they could search for these days if the show was still airing. I suggested “Affordable Health Insurance”, but one of my friends suggested “A Monogamous Gay Man”. I had to admit I knew what he was talking about—I’ve known several gay men who seemed to have issues with commitment. I’m not sure I believe gay marriage will be any more likely to lead to divorce than a straight marriage, though. I just think it will be messier.

Marriage involves two individuals making a lot of promises to each other. Whether the couple is two men, two women, or a man and a woman—there will be occasions where those promises get broken, and someone gets pissed off. If forgiveness is not to be, then a divorce most likely will occur. I’ve seen several straight marriages disintegrate, and it’s never pretty. I’ve also seen several gay relationships disintegrate, and the only good thing about it is that neither partner had the legal opportunity to go after the other’s resources.

I definitely think two people who care about each other should have the right to visit each other in the hospital, make their loved one the beneficiary of a will, and such. But I also think if we get the legal right to marry, we should have foolproof prenuptial agreements in place. Whoever said “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” obviously hadn’t met a pissed off queen.

*source=Wikipedia

Miami Vices

2007-11-13T11:28:00.000-08:00

I went down to Miami Beach this past weekend with a friend. It was my first big trip since leaving practice (unless Myrtle Beach counts as a ‘big’ trip—see previous posting) so I was ready for a change of scenery. I also enjoy placing myself among the genetically blessed as a little sociological experiment, and Miami is chock full of them. I have never seen as many beautiful human beings in one locale as I have in South Beach. The men and women there, regardless of age and race, are flawless physical specimens. Not only are they physically attractive, they are well maintained. It’s a sea of pedicures, cheekbones, sculpted hair and exfoliated skin. The women look great too.

For me the challenge is not to be intimidated by this exotic species of human being. Even with my doctorate degree, I find myself insecure and eager for their approval. When I get it, I turn into Sally Field at the Academy Awards—“the pretty man laughed at my joke! He likes me! He really likes me!” I feel like a goat who’s wandered into a herd of gazelles, so I usually rely on my sense of humor to gain me entry into the collective.

I think some people were trying other methods, with varying degrees of success. One of the more popular t-shirts I spied around town was screen printed with what looked like an illustration from a tarot card deck. An emaciated man was being plagued by demons, and above the illustration in Gothic print was the word “Affliction”. On the right man, it was a magnificent look. Saturday afternoon, however, while we were strolling along Ocean Drive I spied a morbidly obese man wearing the same shirt. While part of me admired his chutzpah for wearing designer duds despite not having a designer bod, the other part of me had to question his choice. There are certainly clothes that flatter every body type, but this particular shirt was not among them. He had to cut a slit in the collar of the t-shirt to get it around his neck without choking him, and even then the fabric was straining. More obvious than that, though, was the sight of this unhealthy creature wearing a shirt with that particular message. I think if you are going to successfully wear a shirt that has “Affliction” written upon it, you cannot appear to be afflicted.

Seeing this man, though, did bring me back to reality. I realized I wasn’t the only one who wanted a piece of the glamorous life, and I think it’s only human to feel that way. It looks like the beautiful people are having a lot of fun. But in the end, they are only people too, and you can’t build a meaningful life on fun. A meaningful life comes from accomplishments—and I have to wonder what some of these beautiful people have really accomplished.

So by the time we hit the cocktail parties, I was over my insecurities. I won’t say I didn’t still get a little thrill whenever I got one of the gazelles to smile at me, but I felt like I was one hell of an accomplished goat whether they liked me or not. I still wasn’t secure enough to wear one of the “Affliction” shirts, however. I needed to know the beautiful people were laughing with me, not at me.

A Mile in Her Bat-shoes

2007-10-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

I have never appreciated a pair of shoes as much as I did today when I put on my cross-trainers. This past weekend was the annual Halloween celebration, and per tradition I went in drag. I don’t mind the wig, make up, and clothes-- but women’s shoes suck. A lesbian friend of mine told me once that women’s shoes were a joke played by gay men on straight women for the benefit of straight men. I don’t think I fully understood what she meant until I put a pair of heels on for myself. It’s amazing how something so pleasing to the male eye can be so displeasing to the female (or male!) foot. The irony is that now some gay men will have to wear these same shoes if they want to be effective drag queens. Karma is a bitch with sore feet.

The costume itself turned out pretty well. I went as Batwoman. The original Batwoman was created by DC Comics in the 1950’s to quell rumors that Batman and Robin were lovers. By the 1970’s, DC apparently felt that the Dynamic Duo’s heterosexuality had been established, so they killed her off (another straight woman sacrificed once she’d outlived her usefulness to straight men—I guess her high heeled boots weren’t punishment enough). Gotham City had to carry on without a Batwoman until last year when DC Comics revived her as a lipstick lesbian, possibly related to the original character.

I was striving for the look of the contemporary Batwoman—black leather pants, long red hair, black cape—but even with these accoutrements the costume had a campy 1960’s feel to it (perhaps because I was a 41 year old man dressing as a 28 year old superheroine!). No worries, though. When you stand 6’10” in heels nobody is going to laugh in your face. And even though most people weren’t familiar with the character, I somehow felt that if Batwoman were out there, she would’ve appreciated the homage. Just as I now appreciate the difficulty of battling crime in uncomfortable shoes.

*If you’re really curious to see the pictures, they are at www.myspace.com/branchula under the “my pics” section.

Reclaiming the Work Week

2007-10-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

I just got my first paying “non-dentist” gig! I have been retained by a non-profit group here in Charlotte to update their website. A friend of mine put me in touch with the group, and after a few informal meetings I was given essentially a shoe-box full of news clippings and internal memos from which I am to generate a narrative of what the group has been doing these last few years.

It has been such a change of pace from my clinical job. First of all it’s nice to walk into a room and have people be genuinely glad to see me. In dentistry, even the nicest patients are a bit tense when I’m present because they know at some point I’m going to pick up something sharp and stick it in their mouth! Happily I didn’t have to do that once with the non-profit group, and from their demeanor I think they appreciated that fact. Secondly, it was refreshing to get to use a different part of my brain. Dentistry is a lot of analysis, very mechanical, and confined to a decidedly small space. Going through the information given to me by the non-profit group involved more synthesis—taking the information, sorting through it, and putting the essentials into narrative form. And what a luxury to be able to spread out over my entire coffee table! I’m not sure if it’s the novelty, or if I could really do this for a living—but for now I’m having a good time.

The one thing I’ve noticed is that it’s been very difficult to fit a career back into my life. I’ve been unemployed now for two months, and somehow have managed to fill up my days without the encumbrance of a job. I heard somewhere that goldfish grow to fit whatever size environment they are placed in. If they are kept in a small tank, they stay small. If they are put into a pond, however, they can grow to be quite large. I believe that is how I have approached my life. When I was working 40 hours a week, I kept side projects to a minimum. Now that I have all this additional time—I have been able to tackle several tasks. I’ve redone the closets in my bedroom, drawn up a 5-page Emergency Plan for a performance theater of which I am a board member, and updated all the software on my lap-top. And those iTunes songs didn’t download themselves! It’s been a busy time, and trying to fit a job back into the mix is going to be very difficult. For the benefit of a paycheck, however, I think I’ll make the effort. I just have to figure out how to shrink a goldfish.

Sex & the Single Blogger

2007-10-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

I had a date this week! Technically it was a first date, but there is some history I should explain. I met this gentleman at a party a few nights ago through some mutual friends. This is always a good way to meet a romantic prospect, because if you have friends in common most likely the gentleman is not a serial killer. Anyway, we hit it off at the party, had a few drinks and then he ended up spending the night at my place. The next day I drove him home, and we traded phone numbers. We traded a few text messages during the week, and tonight we had our first date.

This is not the way they explained dating in Phys Ed class back in middle school, nor do I think Emily Post or Miss Manners would approve, but for me it is a good system. I don't pursue all relationships in this manner, nor am I recommending it to others. I am simply saying the few times it has worked out this way it takes some of the pressure off. Again, I hold my overactive brain accountable. Dating in the traditional manner is very stressful psychologically (for me, at least). Being gay I get the double whammy of having the traditional male nagging questions and the traditional female nagging questions. On the male side we have:
“When should I make a move?”
“Do I stop with just a kiss, or should I go for more?”
“If I go for more, will he think I’m a horn-dog?”
“If I don’t go for more, will he think I’m straight?”

On the female side we have:
"How provocatively can I dress without looking slutty?"
"If I go all the way does that make me easy?”
“If I don’t go all the way does that make me a tease?”

I find myself unable to enjoy the first date and pay attention to the conversation because all of these questions are running through my head.

If you’ve already had sex with the person--suddenly you’re relieved of all these persistent doubts. You know the sex was decent enough for both parties to return for a second encounter. Now all you have to do is figure out if there’s enough there to build a relationship upon. Even then, the pressure is off. If you hit it off with the person--that’s fabulous! You now have a boyfriend. If you don’t--you can go your separate ways if you like, or perhaps just keep them on speed dial as a potential boink buddy.

I’m happy to say the first date went very well. A second date has been scheduled, and we'll take it from there. Now the only nagging question on my mind is, if this works out in the long-term, which day do I use to calculate our anniversaries????

Flawed Focus

2007-10-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

So I got some disturbing news this past week. I went in for my annual eye exam and was informed that I now need bifocals. BIFOCALS!!!! The spectre of my mortality is now standing right in front of me--although apparently I won’t be able to see it without prescription lenses. Personally I blame dentistry. I was perfectly fine when I started dental school 17 years ago.

I went ahead and ordered some new lenses, but frankly I’m not sure I will wear them. I’m not convinced I really want razor sharp vision. What if, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, it is part of God’s plan for our eyesight to fail as we age? At least that way we can’t see the ravages of time upon our bodies. Do we really want 20/20 vision to behold every wrinkle, grey hair, and extra pound as they appear?

I remember when high definition televisions first came out. All of the display models at the electronics stores were playing a looped video of fish swimming, and the picture was so clear it looked like the televisions were aquariums. Amazing. But then you got home with the new tv and began watching your favorite shows. Suddenly every blemish on the face of your favorite celebrity was visible. It’s shocking the first time you see it. The celebrities of a certain age seem to suffer the most. Nobody over the age of 30 needs a high definition camera pointed at them.

You have to wonder what this will do for the careers of television personalities. When the movie industry made the transition from silent films to “talkies” there was a percentage of stars who did not survive the switch. They were incredibly photogenic but did not have speaking voices to match their faces. The movie “Singing in the Rain” tells this story in a funny and entertaining manner, but it was a tragedy to the celebrities who suddenly found themselves without a forum for their talent. As public demand for beautiful celebrities increases, and technological advances are making it more and more difficult to hide one’s flaws--who will be left to stand in front of the cameras?

The answer lies with the audience--either the audience will be willing to accept their celebrities with a few zits and wrinkles, or the audience will reject any flawed icons and only worship those who are, or appear to be, perfect. I hate to say it, but I think I know what the answer will be. Once I get my bifocals, I’ll be looking at zits and wrinkles in the mirror every day. That’s hard enough to accept. I don’t know if I have it in myself to also accept a ridiculously overpaid celebrity with zits and wrinkles too. I want my tv set to be the one place I can look and have a flawless face staring back at me.

Venus if you will.....

2007-09-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

Two friends of mine have just been asked to write a singles column for one of the Charlotte newspapers. She is providing the straight woman perspective, and he is providing the gay male perspective. Along with a gay woman and a straight man they will pen a weekly column on the dating scene. Hearing my two friends discuss potential topics has gotten me thinking about my own romantic life.

In my roughly 25 years since puberty, I really haven’t dated much. Comparing myself to my friends, both straight and gay, I don’t seem to have as strong of a sex drive. My brain is my primary sex organ, and usually it’s working against me. Physical contact for me, be it a massage or sexual contact or whatever, becomes this kind of “Eyes of Laura Mars” experience. I’m suddenly seeing myself through the other person’s eyes and imagining what they must be thinking--”Can’t he do something about those love handles?” “I’ve never seen such hairy toes”. “Nice teeth, though!”

As I was taking my pre-med classes I learned about other ways of reproducing found in nature. Personally I liked the idea of spores. Why did we need to evolve past that system? Gay men could reproduce by giving off Glitter Spores, which would eventually hatch and form boy-bands. Works for me!

The times I have ventured into the dating scene it usually hasn’t gone very well. I’m not sure if it was Venus or Eros, but I’ve definitely angered one of the dating gods. I’ve been stood up on Valentine’s Day and dishonorably discharged by military boyfriends who were afraid of being outed under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policies. Match.com even returned my own profile to me as a potential suitor with the qualifier that we were only an 85% match!

Luckily I’m fabulously self-sufficient. I have a great group of friends who allow me to live vicariously through their dating lives. It works a little like A.A. Meetings for me. They tell me their dating woes, and it steels my resolve to stay single!

As I’m going through this career change, however, I’m thinking about a complete re-invention of myself. I do realize there must be some benefits to relationships, or else nobody would put themselves through the trouble of dating. So as I seek a more rewarding career, I am also seeking a more rewarding life. I hope dating will be a part of that. Therefore, I am officially putting myself back in the game. Let’s hope Eros and Venus are kinder to me this time around.

Contempt & Envy

2007-09-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things to do now that I have my days free is crawl out of bed and head straight to the gym. Because I will just get all sweaty, I usually don’t shower beforehand. It seems wasteful to do so, and I quite enjoy the shock value of walking downtown in a disheveled state. The gym where I work out is a few blocks from my condo, so I usually grab my gym bag and stroll over. Immediately I noticed the stares. Not direct eye contact, but a sidelong glance that is a mixture of contempt and envy. Who is this unshaven man with the obvious bed-head and razor stubble? HaHaHa, I think to myself, I am Liberated Man. Of course you envy me! You beleaguered whores in your corporate costumes off to slave away in a cubicle jungle. I’ve broken free of such drudgeries (at least for the moment). It’s a rather exhilarating feeling, I must say.

As an un-showered man at the gym, I fall into the first of two groups. The first group are the people who are there to exercise. The second group are the posers. You know who I mean--the women in their tight t-shirts reading Cosmo and jiggling seductively on the elliptical machine with perfect hair and makeup; the men in their tank tops doing biceps curls in front of the mirrors. These people are sweatin’ each other, but none of this sweat has to do with actual exercise. Most of the posers are in their 20’s and don’t need to exercise to look good anyway. Once you hit 30--it takes a little effort.

I have a friend who is in a relationship with a surgeon who was just telling me this weekend, “I don’t think my man appreciates how much work I’m doing to maintain my status as his trophy husband”. It’s so true. After 30, you better spend some time looking ugly at the gym (ie. Sweaty, red-faced and hyperventilating) so you can look presentable anywhere else. It just a sad fact of life.

Walking home from the gym, looking even worse after my work out--I’ve started noticing something else. There are several cafés downtown, and most of them have outside seating. These are where the power lunches happen. The same worker bees who were looking down their noses at me now turn their eyes to menus promising interesting sandwiches, exotic soups, and colorful salads. My accountant has me on a tight budget during my mini-retirement, so trendy café food is off limits. I’m currently living on home-made turkey sandwiches and kettle chips. As I walk past these immaculately dressed men & women dining on linen tablecloths and chatting on their iPhones, with nothing but squeeze-bottle horseradish to enliven my own lunch--I’m finding myself staring at them with a mixture of contempt and envy. Kind of the same way I look at the posers!

Myrtle Beach Daze

2007-09-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

I celebrated my unemployment and coincidentally my 41st birthday with a trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. Admittedly this was a step down from last year’s birthday. To toast my 40th birthday I had gone to Paris, France with some friends and sipped champagne on a yacht as we drifted down the Seine. I knew Myrtle Beach wouldn’t quite compare, but I was loathe to spend a lot of money with no new job prospects on the horizon.

We found ourselves at an ocean front bar called Ocean Annie’s, and I realized that Myrtle Beach is where hot chicks from the ‘80’s come to die. My friends and I were awash in a sea of forty-something women with big hair, eyeliner, and high heeled espadrilles. They were grouped in clusters around the circular oak tables nursing cigarettes and warm beer. Many of them were still attractive, but the years of smoking and tanning had taken a toll. Their expressions were as wooden as the bar stools they were sitting upon, and nearly as weather-beaten. Not that the men were any better. Draped in Big Johnson muscle T’s and crowned with their regal mullets, they sounded their barbaric yawps (actually more like “Woo Hoo’s”) over the sound system--which was serenading us with a medley of bands named after geographic hotspots (Boston, Asia, Kansas, etc.) .

Once we had settled in, however, I found myself having a good time. The view of the ocean was gorgeous, and the beers were cold. The late afternoon sun felt great, and the familiarity of the music was comforting. I’ll take classic rock over some angry rapper screaming at me any day. Maybe these people were on to something--you don’t have to spend a lot of money to “get away from it all”. It’s just a matter of finding the beauty in what is offered to you. As if to confirm my revelation, suddenly “Obsession” by Animotion came over the speakers. This was a huge hit from my high school days that I hadn’t heard in years. My friends were equally excited to hear it, and our table let out a collective yawp of our own in approval.

At that moment, my eyes locked with one of the big haired babes at a table across from where I was sitting. Through the haze of cigarette smoke obscuring her stony features, I suddenly had a flash of clairvoyance and knew exactly what she was thinking: “This must be where hot gay guys from the ‘80’s come to die.”

Leaving Dentistry

2007-09-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

So I just quit my job. The sensationalist in me would love to attach this decision to some massive event, either catastrophic (read: arms amputated in freak dental drill accident) or miraculous (read: Leona Helmsley’s dog dies and leaves me the fortune), but it really wasn’t that dramatic.

For the past twelve years I’ve been working as a dentist. I don’t think dentistry and I were ever a great match. Sure, there were some things I enjoyed about it--there’s definitely some instant gratification. Someone walks in with a big black hole in their tooth, you fill it, and they leave with a beautiful white filling (or if they have bad insurance they leave with a shiny silver filling). That part is nice. I just never enjoyed doing it.

Now, when people hear that I quit my job, they say how courageous of me to walk away. I don’t really see it that way. The image that comes to mind for me is that of a cow that has been hooked up to a milking machine and then abandoned. The machine continues to tug on the udders, but all the milk has long since been drained. That is how I felt about dentistry. I had something initially to offer, and things were good for a while. But after twelve years I was tapped out. I really felt like I had nothing left to give to my patients. So in a situation like that is it courageous for the cow to walk away? Or is the cow just acknowledging the reality of the situation and saving everybody (mainly the cow) some pain and grief? Those milking machines have got to hurt after a while, and with no more milk to give there is no point in staying hooked up. So the cow walks away.

I’m not sure what the future will hold for me. I’d love to say that I’ve accumulated enough in my twelve years of working to be able to retire permanently, but that is sadly not the case. I do still need to work, and I want to work. I want to make a contribution to society. I just need to do it outside of a dental office. There’s a wonderful world out there and I’m ready to take a bite out of it (and I’ve got just the teeth to do so)!

As I decide what my next career will be, I will look towards the future with a sense of cautious optimism, and know that leaving dentistry was the right decision for me. Life is too short to go through it with sore udders.

My Beliefs

2007-08-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

I believe Susan Lucci is fabulous.

I believe fast food should be taxed like cigarettes.

I believe exercise is as much for the mind as for the body.

I believe there is a God, but I also believe from the minute the first humans learned to read & write that they started putting words in His mouth.

I believe in the concept of a left/analytical brain and a right/creative brain. I also believe that somehow the left brain people have decided their contributions are more valuable than those of the right brain people--which is a shame, because as much as I enjoy Sudoku puzzles, a Sudoku puzzle has never made me laugh or feel the awesome sense of exhileration that I feel whenever I see a great play, look at an inspiring piece of art, or hear a talented musician perform.

I believe, like most Southerners, that home cooking is one of the purest expressions of love.

I believe it's a lot harder to fall in love than they made it look on "The Love Boat".

I believe you need to nurture your friendships, even if you are in love.

I believe my hair looked better with highlights.